Happy Heavenly Birthday, Dad

My Dad would be 71 years old today.  But, today he is celebrating his second birthday in heaven.  Look at that his smile.  He always smiled, he was funny, a great husband to my mom, a dad to me and my brothers, he was the BEST dad, he was a father in law to my best sister-in-laws and most of all he was a papa.  He sure enjoyed being a papa and loved his grandkids.  He would do anything for you.  You are so missed.  I love you, Dad and would do anything to hear your voice and see your smile again !!

My mom and I will be going to the butterfly garden today.  He was cremated and his ashes were spread around the butterfly garden at the church.  Again, Dad, your whole family misses you so much.  I love you!

"The BOOBS are out of the bag...I mean bra!"

Hey everyone!  This is Jane, Dawn's SIL.  She asked me to update you all.  As you can see from the title, yup, the boob surgery is a secret no more! It is all good too!  From the moment that Dawn arrived in FL, she was wondering how, when and if she would share the news.  She had been talking to Roy on the phone on several different occasions since arriving and he kept asking her "did you tell her, yet?"  "when are you going to tell her?"  Of course, with Dawn's mom standing right next to her, Dawn's answers could only be "not yet," "not now,"  "I don't know."  So, it was inevitable and time to tell her...her responses were making her mom uneasy.  Dawn simply said "Mom, on Sept 1, 2010, I had my breast reduction!"  "Do you want to see?"  Her mom wasn't mad or upset.  She actually said "I thought your shirts looked bigger."  I am sure that Dawn is relieved to have her mom know the procedure was done and that she is healing well.

Dawn is settling in for her Florida visit too.  I know that she is glad to be with her mom and to assess how she is doing.  From the sounds of things, Sharon is independently mobile, and has been working really hard on her therapy and has lost some weight too.  They will enjoy mother/daughter time.  I told Dawn on the phone a few minutes ago that now that they both have lost so much weight, that they could spoon in the bed.  Ha! Ha!

I usually view Dawn's blog on internet explorer and as of today, I am not able to view the new design/blog etc.  I have no problem viewing it through Firefox.  Just an FYI.

Motivaton Monday

I am back to doing this !  Jeannette and myself are the only ones that I 'know' that are participating in the Virtual Biggest Loser Contest !  I get an email with a list of everybody else participating, but I don't 'know' them !!  haha

So, this week:  I am drinking more water and less coke zero.  Wow, the headaches I am having from caffeine.  But, it is all worth it for me to be more healthier.  I am also going to go back to the gym when I come back from Florida.  I can rock my world there.

Start packing today !!  :)  I am really looking forward to going down to see Mom.  I call her everyday, but I called her several times yesterday while I was at Wal Mart to see if she needed anything else.  I asked her if she needed deodorant, toothpaste or anything like that and she said she was fine.  I have to trust her.  

About Face Book yesterday, I just checked it quickly.  I am doing pretty good, but I do feel an addiction.  I guess you could say that I am more nosy that anything !  LOL

Busy.. busy day !!  Florida bound Tuesday morning.  I have to be at the airport at 7:00 am.  I live an hour and a half from the airport.  We are leaving at 5:30.  What time am I getting up ?!?!?!  Can you say 4:30 !!  Oh, it is a new experience for me, too.  I am changing airplanes this time.  I am not flying direct.  I know, sigh.  I fly from St. Louis, to Chicago Midway.  (Flying Southwest).  Change planes, Southwest terminal.  From Chicago to Ft. Myers.  Then on Wednesday, when I fly home.  I don't fly direct.  I fly from Ft. Myers to Orlando.  From Orlando to St. Louis.  I went the cheap route.  But, with Southwest you don't have to pay for your luggage.  I am doing some blog posts that are already are scheduled.  But, I will let you know what my mom says about my breast reduction as soon as I can get to the computer where she lives !!  :)  Until then... good bye !!  :)

Hi

I almost did it !!  I was off of face book until last night.  I was doing laundry and got my suit case out.  I kept texting Roy and sending him pictures of Pedro.  He replied back, Mommy is bored."  I have been running like a chicken with my head cut off and I am in the lull where it is too early to pack and I have done everything there is to do that needs to be done before I go.  I actually closed my eyes when Roy left work at 5:30 (he is working nights this weekend) and when I opened them it was 6:00.  I was pooped!

Here is my baby, Pedro !!  :)

 

I guess, it is going to be a long Sunday, but I did get an extra hour of sleep !! :)

Are You Getting Tired Of My Long Updates ?

Ok, here goes !!  What a busy week !!  Remember neighbor, Cathy ?!?!?  Okay, well I am still helping she and Jason.  I spent all day with them, where my surgeon is, 90 miles round trip, on Tuesday.  She is still having 'female' problems.  The urologist wanted to do a peek and see into her bladder.  I will save you the long story and cut to the details, we left at 10:00 and got home at 8:00 on Tuesday.  All is good.  Nothing found !!  :)   On Wednesday, spent the day in St. Louis, left at 8:00 and got home at 5:30.  Roy had an appointment with the surgeon who did his head and neck surgery.  No lumps and no bumps !!  Can you say happy ?!?!?!?  He doesn't seem him for two years !!  Had 2 1/2 hours between appointments, we ran to my favorite store, Catherine's, real close to Washington University.  They had all of there 'new' end of the summer clothes, markdown and then another 40% off !!  I got a cute shirt, jacket and pair of paints !!  It is going to Florida with me !!  Thursday, I had an appointment and running around like C R A Z Y for my mom.  Buying her Christmas cards, paper, eye drops, stamps and stuff like that.  Also, breakfast bars for me and a few snacks.  She hasn't been to the grocery store since I left in August.  All of her meals are provided for her.  But, she likes to eat breakfast in her room.  I know all of the stuff that I bought for her before I left is gone and I know she doesn't go down to eat.  I do send her a box of food a month.  So, in other words, I can't wait to get down there to access this whole situation !!!!!! 

Back to Thursday, I saw my psychiatrist.  Remember, I am bipolar and was having some mania problems.  All is good and I am fine.  Just taking my mood stabilizer.  :)  But, I did say..... that he had gotten the high speed internet, and I was really... really spending tooo much time on FB.  We talked about it.  He asked how much?!?!?  I will just say... that is what a lot !!!!  So, you won't see me much on FB anymore, at least for a trial.  I really genuinely care about people and I have this 'thing' that I have to check FB to see what is happening.  We all do it right ?!?!?!?  I even check when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom !!!  So, enough is enough !!  I am going to spend more time blogging !!  :)    I am not leaving FB, but not checking in so much or frequently.   Also, on our plan with high speed internet plan, that he currently have, I am only allowed 5 gig's of allowance a month.  That is a lot.  But, I did go over my first month !!  Too much online time !!  I have a friend who also has this and I told her, she said she never comes close, asked me how many games and movies that I downloaded and I didn't do any of that !! 

Oh, I know I am jumping around.  But, remember my Mom doesn't know anything about my breast reduction surgery !!!  What do you think she is going to say ?!?!?!?!!  Any ideas ?!?!?!  I see her this Tuesday at 3:00.  I went from a 40FF to a 40B !!!!  Okay, let's play a game and let's see who guess's what she might say ?!?!

I had a friend suggest to me to call Mary Kay to see what I could do with all this product that I have.  I did and I can return it for 90% of my money !!  I got the form today, so when I get home, I just have to take inventory, sign the paper that I am giving up my Mary Kay thing and returning my inventory.  I am so happy !!  I just have to talk to my director.  I will cross that bridge when I get home.

Ok, I have something else I want an opinion on.  I hope this works !!  When I was in Florida, I bought this wig.   Above.  See my wonderful SIL, Jane.  She met me at the airport when I got back just to take a picture of me in my new wig that I got. 

Since I have been home, I have gotten this one, above.  See, flat chest ?!?!?!  LOL  Ok, my mom doesn't know that I have this one.  She will probably hate it, that is just the way she is.  She hated the one above it.  But, anyway, I am going to take tons of pictures and I don't want to freak people out, 'if' I put them on FB, (why should I care?!?!), so, which wig should I wear ?!?!?!  (See, the least I tell my mom, the better !!  I have learned this since the last few months.)

and... least but, not last.... yesterday was the weigh in for the VIRTUAL BIGGEST LOSER COMPETITION !!  My friend, blogging buddy, and FB friend. Lauren, is hosting the contest !!  There is a monetary prize for the virtual biggest loser at the end.  I am suppose to weigh in each Friday and say if I loss/gain/or stayed the same.  But, next Friday I am in Florida and my mom doesn't have a scale.  So, I will weigh in in two weeks.  

So, to recap, you probably won't see me on FB as 'frequently' or as much.  This is really going to be H A R D !!!  I really am like a druggie with an addiction.  What do you think my mom is going to say about my breast reduction ?!?!  What wig do you think I should wear, the one my mom knows that I have, or my new one ?!?  (Remember, I am just asking because of pictures on FB) 

Thanks for your opinions on this post !!  :)  I will do a post while I am in Florida.  Oh, my mom doesn't know that I blog !!  LOLOL 

Jenn Tagged Me

This is fun.  She got asked 4 questions by another blogger.  She was tagged.  She answered those questions.  Then she was to write another 4 questions and tag 4 people.  Did you follow ?!?!?  Well, I got tagged in the end of it.

Here are the questions:  If you could be anyone besides yourself for an entire day, who would it be and why?

My answer is (and this is tough).  My Dad (first) because he has been gone almost two years and you will never know how much I miss him.  His birthday is coming up on the 12th.  This will be his second birthday in heaven.  Dad, I miss you so much.. and love you!!!!  Then of course, my Mom, Roy, brothers, SIL's and then of course my blog friends and FB friends.  I would love to meet in person my blogging friends !!  :)

Next question:  What is your favorite day of the week, and why?

I don't have one.  Surprised ?!?!?  Probably not.  Since Roy's weeks vary every other week, I pretty much do my stuff when he is working.  I go to bed when I want and I get up when I want.  I don't need a lecture, but we don't go to church, except holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and when I am in Florida with my mom.  So, I love each day of the week.  I don't know what day each week is going to bring because of Roy's work schedule.  When he work's days.  He gets up at 4:30 in the morning and gets home at 7:45 and is HUNGRY !!!!!!!  We eat, he showers, watch the news and we go to bed.  When he works nights he gets off at 7:00 in the morning gets home at 7:45, showers, eats and goes to bed.  Pedro and I wake him up at 3:15.  We eat between 4:00 and 4:15.  He leaves for work at 5:30 in the evening.  When he has his days off.  We stay up late, until midnight or 1:00 am.  Get up between 9 - 10 in the morning and repeat.  So, it just varies.  No special day.

Next question:  If you could change your name, what would it be, and why?

When I was around 16 and thinking of when I was married and having kids, which ended up not happening, I loved the name Samantha Marie.  Marie is my middle name.  But, I have been thinking, because I peeked at these questions last night, and I have always loved the name Abigail.  Abby for short !!  :)  Do you think I 'fit' an Abby Marie ?!?!?!

Next and last question:  What is your favorite song?

Ok.. .this is going to rock your world !!  Are you ready to bust your gut ?!?!?!  My favorite song 'was' listening to the dial tone dial in to the dial up on our computer !!  LOLOLOLOL  You all know, that has changed in the last month !!  We know have Verizon air card !!!  :)  Ok, let's get serious.  I don't listen to the radio when I drive.  I like to think.  I am a thinker.  I don't have the TV on during the day.  I don't listen to music.  But, my last favorite song was Gwen Stefani ~ Sweet Escape.


1. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be and why?
2. If you had $10,000 what would you do with it and why?
3. If you were granted one last meal, what would it be?
4. If you could spend one day with someone in Heaven, what would you do?

I'm not tagging anyone because I am having technical difficulties (and my awesome friend Jenn is typing right now...and I am completely amazing!) so if you want to answer these questions, either do it in my comments, or do a post yourself...just let me know so I can check it out.

Stressed? Treat Yourself to Some of these Ideas

Pamper Yourself!

Having a rough day? Try these head-to-toe at-home spa treatments to help you relax without spending a fortune!

You can find everything you need to pamper yourself at your local pharmacy. Try to find products that match your skin type and needs and look for products that are formulated to soothe and relax you!

Facial
Treat yourself to one of the great pleasures in life - a rejuvenating facial!
1. Pull your hair back and away from your face and rinse your face with warm water. Use soft, circular motions to apply a facial scrub of your choice - the motion will lift away dead skin cells while cleaning dirt and oil out of your pores.

2. Rinse the scrub from your face and apply a facial mask that is suitable for your skin (you can find this at any drug store). Find a quiet and comfortable place to lie down and place cucumber slices over your eyes for the time it takes your chosen facial mask to set.

3. Rinse the facial mask from your face, and apply a moisturizer that is suitable for your skin to maintain your fresh-from-the-spa glow!

Manicure
Giving yourself a manicure is a simple way to spoil yourself and the end result will make you feel great well after it's over.

1. Take off any nail polish you're already wearing and soak your fingertips in a bowl of warm water.

2. Cut and file your nails to the desired shape.

3. Rub a good-quality lotion into your hands and forearms, preferably one that doesn't leave your skin feeling greasy.

4. Use nail polish remover to remove any oil from your nail beds and then paint them. This will help you to apply a smooth coat of nail polish without any bubbles or streaks.

5. While your nails dry, relax and flip (carefully) through your favorite magazine!

Foot Massage
Freshen up your tired, sore feet with some quality time and a little bit of lotion.

1. Rub your feet with a thick, creamy body butter. Shea and cocoa butter are one of my favorites.

2. With firm pressure, move your fingers in a circular motion on the soles of both of your feet.

3. Hold your heel in your left hand and move your foot at the ankle joint to loosen the joint. Rotate clockwise and anti-clockwise five times. Repeat with the right foot.

4. After your massage, apply more body butter to your feet. Put on thick socks and keep them on for several hours or overnight to allow the rest of the moisturizer to absorb in to your feet. You'll wake up with soft, supple skin!

Take a few hours this week to do one or all of these things. You'll feel and look like a million bucks!

Happy Halloween !!

My Mom

I haven't been around much the past few days.  My mom lives in Florida and on Tuesday she had a TIA.  A TIA, is a little stroke or a mini stroke.  She has had a couple in the past.  Thank goodness she was with her best friend at the doctor for her knee.  Yes, she is still having lots and lots of pain from her knee replacement.  What happened on Tuesday is that after her appointment, she and her friend were walking out of the building and they had just walked into the sun and my mom said that she got dizzy.  My mom's friend grabbed her and she about fell.  My mom's friend said that my mom's body went one way and her legs went the other.  Another couple was coming out of the building and saw that my mom's friend needed help.  My mom's friend told them to call 911.  My mom's friend got her to the bench.  But, my mom almost fell.  The 911 squad came and checked her out.  Her friend told them that she has had TIA's before.  They put her on the stretcher and put her in the rescue squad and did an EKG.  My mom's friend said that her kids would feel better if they would take her to the hospital, but my mom would not go.  The paramedics checked her over and said since she wouldn't go that they felt she was okay.  My mom's friend took her back to where she lives.  She went in there and told the wellness coordinator what happened.  She escorted my mom to the dining room to eat.  My mom's friend called me when she got home and said, "Your Mom is fine, BUT.........."  Have you ever got one of those calls ?!?!?  Oh, how your stomach sinks and you get lumps in your throat.  So, my mom called me after lunch and I immediately said, how are you?!??!?!  I said I know what happened, that Mrs. Church had called.  She said that she was tired, which is always the case after these.  She told me she wanted to rest and I told her that I would call her in an hour and a half to see if she would answer the phone.  Basically to see if she was alive.  She did answer the phone.  WHEW !!  It just so happened that she had an appointment with her cardiologist on Wednesday (yesterday).  Come to find out, she hasn't been taking her baby aspirin, her cholesterol medicine and one of her high blood pressure medicines.  Her cardiologist is going to do a carotid artery scan on her neck.  Those are the arteries in your neck that supply blood to your head and neck.  The soonest that test can be done is November 19. 

My brother's and I have a lot of decisions we have to make now.  My dad has been dead almost 2 years.  We can't have the stress in our lives having her over 1,000 miles away.  She said that she hasn't been taking those 3 medicines since she had the knee surgery.  She said she was told to stop.  Why or when or if she was told to stop them, we do not know.  Having her with us we would know all of this.  I go down to see her November 9.  This will probably be the toughest trip that I will ever make in my life.  Knowing what her future looks like.  She doesn't want to move closer to us.  She wants to be with her friends.  She and my dad retired in Florida over 20 years ago.  My mom doesn't drive anymore since her first stroke.  She has friends, she has church friends and other organizations that she belongs to that she has friends in.  It is going to be hard.  But, Mrs. Church said to present it like this.  Tell her that it is too hard on us kids to have her so far away and the stress that it puts on us.  She has really gone down hill since she had her knee replaced.  It is just hard being the only daughter in this situation.  It is time for her to be with us and she isn't going to understand, I am afraid.  We will find her a nice place.  We will let her have input to were she will live.  It is not like we are putting her in prison or anything.  She just needs to be with us kids, so we can take her to her appointments.  Manage her medicine, etc.  The time is come, the hard thing to do now is to tell her.  Hard... hard.. hard !!!!!!!! 

Thanks for listening !!  :)

6 Things About Me That You Don't Know

1. Everyone is my immediate family calls me "D".  I don't know who started it !! 
2. I have had just one furry baby.  I would love to rescue another one!!!!
3. I seriously over exclamate!  It’s one of my worst habits!! (Have you ever noticed that ?!?!?)  :)
4. I am at my best under pressure, but then I just get overwhelmed.  Then I am not good to anyone.
5. I am a PC.
6. How I actually met, Roy!  I don't think anybody knows !!  Does anybody have any guess's ?!?!

Play along with me !!  :)  Let me know if you do and I will come and see "6" things that I don't know about you.  I know there are at least "6" six things that you can come up with.  You can get an idea of my "6" things !!  :)

Have a great Wednesday !!  :) 

Stylish Blogger Award and More

Thanks, Jeannette,  who thinks I am a stylish blogger !!   I want EVERYONE who has a blog to grab this award.  I love all of my readers who stop by here daily !!  :)  If you grab the award, let me know, so I can come and see you and comment.  I try to stop by everyday !!  :)

Don't forget about the Mary Kay that you can get from me, if I have it, for 50% off.  I have lots !!

My neighbor, Cathy, can no longer get in her truck.  The step of it has rusted off and she has short legs.  She called me today to see if I would take her to the place here locally to apply for assistance with her gas bill, so I did.  Then she asked me to go with her tomorrow to take her to a doctor appointment here locally.  She has kidney stones.   So, she has an appointment tomorrow with the urologist. 

I made an appointment for me tomorrow for a facial.  Fun ?!?!  Yes, you are right.  I wish I had someone to go with tomorrow.  But to have a couple of hours to myself, all to myself, that will be so nice.  It is a 'fall' facial.  This time with the facial and decollete, I am also getting my hands and feet done !!  Won't that be nice.  It is one of the October specials at my salon !! 

The days are getting shorter, the leaves are really falling off of the trees.  The days are getting chilly.  The heat runs in the morning and the air runs in the afternoon.  This is typical for the Midwest !!  :)

Mary Kay

Mary Kay was a great way for me to meet people and use the products.  I will use the products for myself, for personal use only.  But, I have lots of stuff.  When I got started earlier this year,  I wanted to do it for personal use only.  My director had other ideas with my money.  This is the story.

I signed up under my Mary Kay consultant.  I placed my first order for me.  Well, my director thought I should carry inventory for the 'parties' that I was going to have.  Well, what parties ?!?!?!  My director asked me to apply for the Mary Kay credit card, which I was approved.  My credit limit was $3,000.  My balance is now $3,800 because of finance fees.  I have a lot of TimeWise® Miracle Set™, All Kind of Eye Creams, TimeWise® Microdermabrasion Set's,  TimeWise® Replenishing Serum+C, and so much more !!  You can check more out here.

I will not be placing anymore orders, but if you are interested, leave me a comment with your email address and I will contact you, or if you will repost this, I would be grateful.   Thanks to all my readers !! 


Have a great Monday !!  :)

Feeling So Much Better

Thanks everyone for your concerns !!  Medicine does work miracles.  It is only for short term.  I have never been depressed in my life.  Hard to believe, huh?!?  Especially after all I have been through.  I have had my moments, but I am usually very uppity up, positive and love life.  I just have a minor bump in the road with my bipolar in the end of October and the first of November.  I have since I have been diagnosed.  I have a great doctor and he knows what to do !!  I love you Dr. R. !!

Also, if anybody reads this and you use Mary Kay or know of someone that uses Mary Kay, and wants to get stuff 50% off.  If I have what you or they need, you can get it from me for the 50% off.  Plus the shipping charges to get to you.  Let me know if you are interested.  I have lots.  Stock up and SAVE !!!!!! 

It Is That Time Of The Year

I hate this time of the year for me mentally.  I am bipolar and for some reason, exactly every year this time of the year, the end of October and the first of November, I really become very manic.  I have been up for two days with no sleep.  So, I called my doctor today and he called me back and I have to go back on Seroquel XR.  This medicine 'should' really help slow me down and help me sleep.  BUT, one of the huge side effects is weight gain !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Can you hear me ROAR ?!?!?  But, knowing this, I 'hope' I can control it, but he is starting me on 200 milligrams.  That is a high dose.  But, I have to sleep and I have to slow down.  He said he hopes that it will only take two weeks for me to cycle through this.  When he called me back and I said, guess what ?!?!?!  He said, "Well, Dawn, it is and I said, I know it is October."  I just hate it.  I do fine all of the rest of the year on my mood stabilizer.  But, for some reason, I have one hell of a time for about 3 - 4 weeks.  I sure hope this is only going to stay around for two weeks. 

Fall Colors

Where Have I Been ?!?

I have been so busy since Cathy's dad died.  The past week just flew by.  We also had a wedding to go to on Saturday evening and it was beautiful. 

Underneath my boobs are starting to heal !!  Can you hear how excited I am ?!?!  I am so excited !!  My surgery was September 1 and today is Tuesday, October 19th.  I saw my surgeon today, and from last week he said that things are looking up, which I thought they were, and he told me that I don't need to come back for TWO weeks !!  I still change the dressing under both boobs 3 times a day, but the holes, sores and everything are closing and starting to look better !  My mom is kind of not questioning, but asking me why I always go to Cape every week.  Well, it is so natural for me to talk about it and how fun bra shopping is, she still doesn't know that I had my surgery.  *giggles* Which is for the best, if you know my mom.  I will be seeing her soon.  I am going to Florida for a week in November.  Won't that be a huge shocker for her that I had my breast reduction surgery ?!?!  I saw her last in July, when she had her knee replaced.

Oh guess what ?!?!?  I will need your support for this.  You are saying, now what are you doing, right ?!?!  I knew that.  haha  I am entering into a biggest loser competition.  My friend, Lauren, who I have known for a long time, is hosting a virtual biggest loser competition and  I entered in it.  There was a $10 fee and the biggest loser wins the money.  How cool is that ?!?!?  Okay, the contest runs from November 5th thru January 28th.  Right through the holidays !!!!!!  That is okay with me.  We don't have kids.  My mom isn't coming for Thanksgiving or Christmas, so we will be by ourselves.  Right now, my biggest downfall is a no sugar added apple pie that our local grocery store carries.  I can eat the whole pie !!!!  So, no more no sugar added pies at my house.  I don't have a real sweet tooth, so I am hoping that I do win.  Right now, I can't exercise because of the poor healing under my boobs.  But, as I said, things are starting to improve.  I have maintained my 200 pound weight loss for a year now.  I would love to loose 30 more pounds.  So, I need all of your support.  You want me to be the winner, right ?!?!?  I am NOT going to be on TV, but I could be the 'virtual' biggest looser in Lauren's contest !!  :)

The days are getting shorter, cooler and the leaves are turning in my neck of the woods.   Be good !!  :)

The Funeral

The visitation will be Thursday night (tomorrow night) from 5 - 8 pm.  The family viewing is from 4 - 5 pm.  Then on Friday the funeral is 10:00 am.  Immediate following at the graveside, there will be military honors.   Then Saturday afternoon and evening, we have a wedding to go to.  Roy's cousins daughter/son, I don't know which, *sigh*, too much has been going on, is getting married.  I do have the card and check. 

I have been so busy with the family, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Flowers order, meat trays and food ordered for meal afterward.  Cathy has everything she needs for her clothes.  Her pants are hemmed.  She has her hair appointment to get her hair cut and styled. 

My other next door neighbor and myself are going to help set up for the family meal and clean up afterwards.  It is suppose to be a beautiful day, cool crisp, clear sky.  Will be a nice day for a funeral and a wedding.... all in the same day.  

He Died

We left my house today at 12:00.  Cathy wanted to leave at 12:30, but I thought we should leave at noon.  Well, we got there at 12:40.  He died at 12:50.  Had we left at 12:30, we wouldn't of been there in time.

What an experience this has been for me.  I have never watched a person take their last breathe.  Today, I did.  He didn't gasp, or anything,  he just stopped breathing.   The preliminary arrangements are for the visitation to be Friday and the funeral on Saturday morning.  We live just across from the church.  I will be there for both.  What a sad, sad day.  You know my dad died almost two years ago.  It was very, very sudden.  He wasn't sick or anything, he had a massive heartache on the golf course.  No warning or anything.  No machines or anything.  No cancer or anything.  He didn't suffer like Cathy's dad.  Thank goodness !!

 

From Cathy's Son, Jason ~ More About Death and Dying

I just received this note from Jason, Cathy's son, on facebook.

Jus writting to say thank you for the trips to ****. Mom & I both really appreciate it and ya being with us. I know it can be a lenghty trip, long days and add up alot of milage & we'd be glad to chip in for gas, lunch or whatever else we can help with. If you or Roy ever need help with anything here at home let me know, I'll be glad to come give a hand. Im extra grateful especially for the rides to the Halloween Shops...its hard to find good quality stuff in ***** so again thanks a million.

I thought it was very nice !  He is 26 years old.  Doesn't drive because he is afraid to parallel  park.  I avoid parallel parking at all cost!!  He has his STD (sexually transmitted disease) report in his pictures on face book.  He also has Jesus as part of his name on face book.  Today, at the Halloween store, he bought red contact's for his eyes.  He said, that she gave him to bottles of them.  She didn't.  He stole them !!!!!

I just hope that Mr. Zahner goes quickly.  He just laid there and was non responsive.  When we arrived today, his temperature was 97.9 and when we left, it was 99.9.  His checks were bright red.  His lungs are starting to rattle and slowly starting to fill with fluid.  Cathy's brother was very appreciative that I did his laundry and that I brought Cathy and Jason down again today.  Tomorrow, I have an appointment with my surgeon, so, I would be going down anyway. 

This is COMPLETELY off subject !!  But, if you want to see before and after pictures of my breast reduction surgery, I have pictures !!  :)  I still have wholes under each boob, but they are starting to heal.  Leave me your email address, if I don't have it, and let me know if you want to see.  You have been with me through this adventure.  If you don't want to see, you will NOT offend me !!  :) 

More About Death and Dying

He is still alive, but I don't know for how much longer.  The hospice nurse will be back in Monday morning to access his condition if he is still alive.  His morphine doses have increased as well as the length between them.  Cathy said to her brother that she didn't think she wanted to come down tomorrow while she was looking at me.  I told her that it was not a problem for me to bring she and Jason down.  She has trouble seeing at night.  Remember, her 25 or 26 year old son doesn't drive.  Because, he says, he is afraid to parallel park.  But, he is a strange kid !!  Really odd !!  On his profile on FB, he has his STD report, that says he is free of the diseases.  Is that gross, or what ?!?!!?!

I called my mom when I got home, she said, why are you putting the miles on your car, why are you doing this for her.  I told her, Mom, come on, when Dad died, didn't people friends and neighbors pull together to help us.  What are neighbors for, right ?!?!   She said, are they paying you for gas??  I said, she is going to fill my tank up in the morning.  She said, don't let them take advantage of you!  I said, I won't.  I think a lot of my doing a lot with Cathy and taking her to her appointments and stuff with me to see my surgeon will all make sense when she see's me in November.  I am flying down to see her for a week.  She decided she can't make the trip up to St. Louis.  I think I told you this, lol.  If not, I am sorry!  I am going to see her.  My Mom said, that I am being to nice ?!?!?  How can you be to nice??   I am a kind, caring, loving individual.  Mom knows that !! 

I am doing Cathy's brothers laundry now.  He is staying at the Veteran's home day and and night until his dad dies. 

Death and Dying

My neighbor, Cathy, and I have been doing more together.  She has had a tough life and her only friends are me and our next door neighbor.  Two weeks ago, I was out walking Pedro on a Saturday and she walked over to me and said, "If I need to go to the emergency room overnight, will you take me"?  Without hesitation, I said, sure.  She told me that she had started her period and was bleeding heavily.  Her truck was in the shop and her son, who is 26, doesn't know how to drive.  We will save that story for another day.  So, the next morning, I saw her outside and asked her how she was doing.  She was still bleeding heavily.  I told her that she should be seen by a doctor.  She is over 60 and hasn't had a period in over 15 years.  She had gotten herself kicked out of our local clinic for missing to many appointments, so her doctor is in the same town that my plastic surgeon is in.  She made her appointment the same day that I go down to see my surgeon, on Tuesdays.  Her dad is in the Veteran's Home the exit before the exit we get off at.  I have always told her that if she wants to stop to see her dad, we could.  Just to back up a second, today, we had our home phone disconnected.  We now have broadband.  A long time coming, but we have a Verizon Air card and it seems to be working fine.  We had to move the computer upstairs, but all is fine.  So, tonight, I get a message on my iPhone, that I have received a message on Face Book from my neighbor.  It says it is Cathy and Jason and it is urgent.  The message reads exactly: 

My mom wanted to know your number...were in cape the grandfather is fixin to pass my cell# is got it w/ me.  I called him right away.  It was at 5:20.  Roy was just getting ready to leave for work and I left just before him.  I didn't know what I was getting into.  I know that she was going with me this Tuesday, because we were going shopping for clothes for when her dad died.  All I knew when I got to the Veteran's Home is that I was looking for the "C" wing, room 109.  I got in there.  There laid Cathy's dad in a single bed.  He is in a lot of pain.  I am not sure how old he is.  He is dying as I type this.  He has cancer through out his body.  It started in his prostrate and slowly moved throughout his body.  He can't swallow anymore as the cancer is really bad in his throat.  The morphine is administrated under is tongue every hour.  Every so often he moves and cries out.  His oncologist came in and told him goodbye.  There was nothing else that could be done.  Isn't this sad ?!?!  So, Cathy and I went shopping and I helped her pick out a pretty outfit to wear for the viewing and the funeral.  Cathy has bad eyesight at night and has cataracts in both eyes, but her son insisted that she drive her truck home tonight.  So, she followed me home on the highway and watched my taillights.  She asked if something happened in the middle of the night if she could call me and I told her yes.  Her dad's breathing was really good and I don't see him dying for a few days.  His oncologist said, that it could be an hour, 12 hours, 24 hours, a week, he just doesn't know.  The funeral arrangements are pre-made.  So, the family is just waiting for the last breathe to be made.  Cathy's dad please just hurry and take your last breathe, your wife is waiting for you to finally be with her.  Cathy's mom fell last year, broke her head open and bleed to death.  She died September of last year. 

I am having a rough time with this.  I haven't dealt with death and dying since my dad died, in February, 2009.  My dad had a major heart attack on the golf course.  He didn't suffer and he died doing something he enjoyed.  RIP dad, I love you and miss you so much !!

I have never been this close to someone dying.  A loved one, a dad, a grandfather, a great grandfather.  I don't know what war he was in.  I am sure that I will learn more as the days go on.  Sad.. sad... sad !!!!

BC Mom Giveaway - $75.00 to CSN Stores

Have you ever checked out CSN Stores?!  If not, run over there now!  Beth and Cory's Mom is hosting this great giveaway.  Just hop over to her blog here to enter for the giveaway!  It is quite easy.  I hope I win, I am going to get the Sunny Health & Fitness Mini Elliptical Trainer - SF-E704 if I win, I think !!

Old Email Excerpts

Wow... I am up late !!  I was going through cleaning out my inbox !!  It is a mess.  Just some excerpts from emails though out the past year !!

1/25/09 ~

I have had the stomach flu and diarrhea for a week.  I am going to physical therapy and I am using a walker to help from falling.  So, that is what is going on!!!!

 

2/20/09~
 Just remember, "they" say that:

Of all the thing you wear, your expression is the most important.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime
The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.

The best vitamin for making friends..... B1

The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts
One thing you can give and still keep...your word.
One thing I can't recycle is wasted time.

A mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back

 3/6/09~

Dear Dawn:

 

I don't know if you're home or not, or at your mom's, but I wanted to

let you know how VERY SORRY I was and am to hear about your dad.  I know

this is a very sad and extremely stressful time.  Just wanted to touch

base and say I Love You, and hope you're taking care of yourself as

best you can.

 

2/27/10

I saw Dr. Schwartz on Friday.  I am very anemic.  Counts are extremely low.  I have CBC done in 4 weeks.  If they go lower, I will either get units of blood or see a hematologist or both.  I tell ya.  

 

5/13/10

How are you doing ?  I am doing ok.  I got a call from Dr. S's office (Pulmonary - methotrexate) and they will NOT change the dose or how often I take it.  (Once a week)  Too dangerous for the Wegener's to come back.  She said that the hematologist will have to do something else for me.  I see her in a week and a half.  Mom's knee is not doing very good.  She said she will be having it replaced this winter.  I will keep you posted, for sure !!

 

Just had a weird thing happen to me on FB.  I guy that I dated in STL... asked to be my friend.  I didn't do it.  I did click to see his picture (lol) and MY picture was there !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He just started FB today and he had 30 friends.  I reported him and blocked him.  I don't like being stalked !!  At least I put my city as STL !!!!  I had to call the police when I lived in St. Peters, MO, and have him removed by the police because he fell for me so hard and wanted to marry me after a month !!  NUTS !!  I had just gotten divorced and wanted nothing to do with it!!  He bought a cell phone from me when I sold them in STL.  Of course, I was nice and friendly and got myself in a HUGE mess and then today on FB.... oh, the joys of life !!  lol

 

 517/10 ~

I see !!  Yep... those were my 'severe' maniac years when I would be up for nights and days making stupid tags !!  Have nothing to show for it today.  I don't even have paint shop on my computer anymore.  lol  My back gives me fits if I sit here too long.  Have a good afternoon and evening.... 'talk' to you later..... My back is killing me from sitting here for two hours.  lol

 

5/18/10 ~

Hey D!  Or maybe I should remember to call u “A”.  The pictures of you are great! Way to go!  I don’t remember the last time I saw you in flip flops.  You definitely have worked hard and you look marvelous!  Great job!  We just got home from the baseball game.  Patriots won 12 to 2!  A Forest Park kind of day planned for tomorrow…..a picnic, the zoo, science center and another baseball game at  7:40 should fill up our day tomorrow!!! 

5/13/10

I have an Ativan withdraw headache from hell.  I can hardly see straight or think straight.  UGH !!  It will go away in a couple of days.  I will come up with something to write today or tomorrow.  I hate decreasing medicine !!

6/5/10

Ok... here goes !!

About me.... I will be 47 the end of this month.  25 years ago I was diagnosed with Wegener's Granulomatosis.  It is very rare.  The life expectancy with this auto immune illness is five years.  I keep going !!  For the treatment... I have to take steroids and chemotherapy.  I take the chemotherapy by mouth.  I am now on a regimen of taking it on Saturday's.  It wipes me OUT !!!!  It has effected my lungs.  I was really sick for 6 months.  I could of had cancer, rocky mountain spotted fever... or this really rare disease.. and I had the really rare disease.  I live with it every day of my life.

 

I have struggled with my weight for a long time.  I have been on steroids for the Wegener's for 25 years.  I am only on 2.5 milligrams daily.  My highest was 70 milligrams daily.  That really made me gain my weight.

 

When I lost my weight... I weighed over 400 lbs.  I was a sad sad case!  I fell a lot.  I couldn't hardly stand for a long period.  Showers were hard on me.  I had to get pedicures because I couldn't cut my toe nails.  I had to have a raised toilet seat... I couldn't get off of the toilet.  I walked with a walker and/or a cane.  I had no muscles.. it was ALL fat!!  I tried to have gastric bypass surgery.  My husband's insurance covered it... but I was denied... I hadn't been followed on an exercised program for a year.  I couldn't exercise.... I couldn't move.  I finally broke my ankle... We were going to see my Mom last year... a couple months after my Dad died.  We were leaving a restaurant.. and when I got into the car, I didn't raise my leg high enough.  My ankle got caught in the car and I broke it.  I was in a cast.. I couldn't use crutches.  My arms weren't strong enough to hold me.  When I would get up from tables when we would eat out.  My hubby had to hold the table up, so I wouldn't tip it over.  I would REALLY have to push myself up to get up.  When we would get in the elevator or something... I would think I would fall... I could hardly stand.  A lot of the time, when we would go to hospitals for my hubby's cancer.  We would have to valet park.  He would then push me around in a wheelchair.  It was really sad !!

I got hold of myself.  I can move.  I can dress myself.  I was in a 6X.  Now I am in 1X in tops.. because of my boobs.  In an 16 - 18 for my bottoms.  I have been big breasted ALL my life.  I went from a training bra to a DDD cup almost overnight.  I 'was' a 52II.  Now, I am a 40FF.  I am a prime candidate for breast reduction surgery.  I stand by the mailbox everyday waiting for the mail to come to see if I get anything from the insurance company.

 

Going back to the chemotherapy.  I am bald.  I wear wigs.  I lost my hair a long time ago.  Talking about different hair styles and colors.  I wish I could get a human hair wig.  They cost over $200 and we can't afford it.  I am happy with my wigs.  They do get very hot in the summer.

 

My husband, Roy, and I will be married 10 years on June 19.  We both have been married before.  I wasn't able to have children.  The chemo cooked my ovaries.  I have twin nieces and two nephews.  I treat them like they are my own when I see them.

 

Roy was diagnosed with sebaceous cell carcinoma two years after we were married.  It started on his lower eye lid.  Long story short... he lost his eye... he has a prosthesis.  He had radiation.  He had surgery and had a total neck dissection and his lymph nodes removed at Barnes Jewish hospital in St. Louis.

 

He remains in remission and he is 5 years out !!  YAY !!

 

That is a lot !!  lol  If you have any questions.... ask away....

 

When you have time, I would like to know more about you!

6/13/10~

I still have the bipolar, but I am only on a mood stabilizer.  I take sleeping meds, but that is it.  My doctor is really pleased with me.  I am not on any anxiety medicine or anything.  My weight loss has really helped my over all well being. 

 

I was a diabetic.  I went off all of my diabetic medicine.  My last A1C was 7.9.  I couldn't believe it.  I am back on medicine.  I was disappointed.  But, I have to be watched very closely.

 

I wished my white count was higher.  But, it isn't.  I see my hematologist in 10 days.  I will see what she wants to do. 

 

I am glad we have reconnected.  I am missed you!!

 

9/10/10~

 

My primary care doctor put me on Vitamin D.  I was put on 20,000 IU's for 20 days.  Today I take 4,000 IU's a day.  You can buy it over the counter when it come's time for you to be on it.  It should help you!  Remember, I told you!!  Do you take a multi-vitamin??  Go to Wal-Mart or somewhere and just get any generic vitamin... it would be good for you and Chuck, too. 

 

Don't know anything about the Epstein Barr virus.  I hope you start to feel better. 

 

I had my breast reduction surgery last Wednesday, September 1.  I am doing great.  I am teeny weenie now !!  LOL  I am really little... but I am so happy.  I still have my nipple protectors on and I am wearing a compression bra.  My thingies on my nipples are sewn on and will probably come off next Tuesday.  My nipples are a skin graph and they have to be protected for an extra while.  He doesn't want anything rubbing against them.  

 

9/14/10 ~

Thanks for the email.  I am very interested in Juice Plus+.  Right now, I am on dial-up.. cough.. cough.  We are getting high-speed this Wednesday.  So, I can't watch your video at this time.  I did take Juice Plus+ about 5 - 6 years ago.  A friend of mine last week and just told me that I needed to take it.  But, to be honest, I don't trust her.  Isn't that awful.  She just wants my debit card number. 

 

I have a series of health problems.  I am auto immune.  I was diagnosed with Wegner's Granulomatois back in 1985.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wegener%27s_granulomatosis  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/wegeners-granulomatosis/DS00833

http://www.medicinenet.com/wegeners_granulomatosis/article.htm

A few articles for you to read.  It is very rare.  I got really sick and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.  My doctor's finally did a chest x-ray and found that I had over 20 lesions in my lungs.  I had an open lung biopsy.  I was diagnosed with Wegners Granulomatosis.  It is treated with chemotherapy (orally) and prednisone.  I take Methotrexate only on Saturday and prednisone 2.5 mgs everyday.  I have been in remission for over 20+ plus years.  I never had kidney involvement.  You wouldn't know anything was wrong with me, by looking at me. 

 

I did gain a lot of weight.  I used to weigh over 400 lbs.  In October of this year, I will have maintained my 200 lb. weight loss for a year.  Something I am very proud of.  I had to walk with a walker, have a raised toilet seat and have help to get dressed.  I was a mess.  I tried for gastric bypass but I was denied.  My primary physician didn't follow me on a exercise program for 6 months.  I couldn't exercise.  I couldn't move.  My legs wouldn't support my body weight.  I could hardly walk.  I got hold of myself.  I started taking little walks.  I started out from walking from the couch to the front door.  I would do that twice a day.  I had to start moving.  I started slowly.  My refrigerator was my best friend.  My husband would have to help me in the shower because I couldn't stand.  We had a shower bench, but, then I couldn't get up. 

 

Well, I started moving !  I got hold of myself.  It was HARD.  I had to struggle.  I tried so many diets.  From Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Dr. Atkins, The South Beach and more..... Nothing worked.  But today, I am at 200 lbs.  I am 5'8".  I would like to loose 30 more lbs.  I just had a breast reduction surgery two weeks ago.  I feel so much better about myself.  I got myself going to the gym.  I was 'doing' the treadmill, the bicycle and the elliptical machine.  I was really toning up.  But, my skinny friends told me that I looked so good that I didn't need to go.  So, I stopped.  Let me tell you that I need to get back.  I have gained weight and feel so sluggish. 

 

I am back to being a borderline diabetic.  My cholesterol was up and my doctor wanted to put me on medicine, but I never had it filled.  I think my cholesterol was 195.  I don't remember what it was 3 months ago. 

 

I was an insulin dependent diabetic when I was over 400 lbs.  My triglyceride's were over 700.  I am really lucky to be alive today. 

 

I am also bipolar.  I have never been depressed, but I seem to be more maniac.  My bipolar is so much more controlled since I have lost my weight.  I am only on a mood stabilizer.  I also take sleeping medicine. 

 

As far as some measurements in my bust.  I was a 52 II.  Before my surgery I was a 40FF.  I think I am a 38B cup now.  I will know more tomorrow after I see my plastic surgeon.  I use to wear in tops a size 6X.  My tops are now a 1X.  But now that I have had my surgery, I think an XL will fit fine.  When I was over 400 lbs., I could only find sweatpants.  They were size 8X.  I am now done to a 18/20.  I have so much extra loose flab from weighing so much in my tummy area.  Although since my breast reduction surgery, I now *giggles* see a roll of fat that I didn't see before.  My boobs covered it up!  LOL  Now, I want to get back to the gym to work on that.  Any suggestions?!?

 

9/16/10 ~

Thanks so much for the caring call and the lovely card and gifts. You're a lovely, sweet and caring woman....

 

9/28/10 ~

AHA!!!  I saw the truck and all those trees; no wonder I couldn't see
your house LOL  This is so cool!!!!  Your area looks really
peaceful... and I can see why you were blown away at all the houses
and roads around mine.  Very cool!!  This was taken on either a
Thursday evening or Friday because the garbage cans are out (one
recycle).  I used to park in the side car port before Mom sold her
Blazer.  Then when I was home from work, and took my parents to most
of their appts, I convinced them it was better to put my car in the
garage because I had a bigger car and front seat *snicker*  it is
really, but I got the garage YAY!  LOL

A Long Update

Just so much going on!  I have been shopping and gearing up for the fall and winter months.  Last year I was wearing in jeans a 22 to a 24.  This year I am in 18's.  So, I have to buy new jeans.  I just bought one pair so far and they are skinny jeans!  I want to buy two more pairs, one boot cut and I am not sure of the other style I want.  In tops and shirts, I was a 2X last year and this year I am a 1X.  So, I will be getting by pretty much in my sweaters and tops.  But, of course, I want some more.  So, I got a couple more tops.  But, I can't wear V necks at all.  I tried on a couple sweaters in V neck styles for a switch, and NO go.  I don't have boobs to fill them out.  Which is okay, I have found other cute things.  I also got sports bras.  I got them in lots of colors.  I took pictures of all of what I bought, but I don't know how to upload them.  I can't find on my computer where to put the card and there is no USB cable or anything.  No place on the camera for one.  So, I hope I am not disappointed. 

My mom decided that she can't make the trip from Florida to St. Louis for Thanksgiving.  She said that she just can't sit in an airplane with her knees bent for that long and that she will have a hard time going up and down stairs.  So, I decided to go down there to see her.  I need to see how she is doing.  She was still in the rehab center when I left in August.   I called my brothers to see if they could help me with my plane fare.  My brother, David said he would help, which I was very grateful.  Steve called me on Friday and was just so mean and talking so mean about my mom and said to me are you still there, I don't want to be talking to dead air.  He was practically yelling at me.  So, I didn't feel comfortable at that time to ask him.  But, I will ask him to help me.  I am going as cheap as I can since I am buying my ticket this time with the help of my brothers.  I am changing planes this time.  I am flying Southwest but I am not flying direct.  On the way down, I fly up to Chicago Midway and switch to another Southwest plane and then fly to Fort Meyers.  On the way home, I leave Fort Meyers, fly over to Orlando and then into St. Louis.  My air fare was $109 each way but with taxes and all of that stuff it was $250.00 round trip.  I leave on November 9 and get home on November 17,  Tuesday to a Wednesday. 

On the boob front, boy do I have a mess!  I am still taking the antibiotics, the infection is gone, but now I have a yeast infection and it is just plain gross looking!  I literally have holes under each boob from the lack of blood flow, so that is just gong to have to fill in on its own.  I have my week follow up tomorrow with my surgeon, so I will be interested to see what he says this time.  My mom still doesn't know about this, so do you think she will notice ?!?!?!  I am really trying hard to loose about 5 - 7 pounds before I leave.  That would make me really happy !!  I am eating, but I am not eating to where I am uncomfortable. 

So, what is new going on with you ??

I Want Your Opinion

I went shopping last week for sports bras.  I got four, two white, one sassy lilac, and one gray (obsidian).  They come in a wide variety of colors.  I want to get two more and I would like you to pop over there and tell me the two colors you like.  Here is the link:  Barely There Sports Bra.  Please be specific in the colors!  :)  They were on sale yesterday, but I just checked and they aren't today.  So, I will wait to get them when they are on sale.  When I got them in the store, it was buy one, get the other 1/2 off.  So, please help me in which color you think I should get !!  :)  Thanks !

Just A Minor Bump In The Road

I had an appointment with my surgeon yesterday.  The incision didn't break open.  But, I am having lack of blood supply to underneath of my boobs.  There is some infection, too, so he started me on antibiotics immediately.  I also change the gauze three times a day.  They are really oozing.  This is not want I wanted to hear.  He assured me that this will not effect the way my boobs will look or anything.  I got a couple of sports bra's and they are so neat.  I am going to start 'sporting' those today!  I really feel good about this little detour in the healing process.  My surgeon is on top of this, he took pictures and I go back next Tuesday! 

My Incision Popped Open

I have been doing too much !!  Under my right boob, my incision popped open.  It is quite a mess.  I see my surgeon on Tuesday.  I wonder if I will be in trouble ?!?!?!  It will probably have to heal from the inside out now.  It will probably take forever to heal now.  I know, it is all my fault.  I have been lifting a lot in the last week.  I thought I was all in the clear.  I have been doing some fall cleaning.  Going through stuff.  I had a new cleaning lady start today.  I really like her.  Although, Pedro let her know that he lives here.  He barked the entire 3 1/2 hours.  She is coming back on Monday to finish!  

When will I learn ?!?!?!?!  I know I don't heal well, but I really thought I was in the clear.  All thing will get better.  I have the faith !!

I Had A Knock At My Door Today

and I opened the door and there stood the Sheriff!  Guess who he wanted to see ?!?!?!  Roy's ex-wife!!  She hasn't lived here in over 11 years !!  We get creditor collection calls every month or two for her.  I just simply say that she hasn't been at this number in over 11 years.  I ask them to take our number out of the machine and I never hear back.  We haven't received any of her mail probably in 10 years.  But, today, when I answered the front door, it was the Sheriff !!  He asked for Darlene M.  I said, that she and Roy had been divorced for over 11 years and I didn't know where she was.  He was very nice and left.  I texted Roy right away and told him.  He said, "I wonder what they want her for."  It was funny, Pedro let the Sheriff know that he lives here !!  LOL 

I did stop my cholesterol medicine and I am feeling all better !!  My nurse told me that I should stop it for a week and try it again.  I am not looking forward to re-starting it.

I did get a new camera, a Canon, 12.3 megapixel from Best Buy.  So, you will be seeing more pictures !!  I had to get a new memory card for it.  My old camera had a 256K memory card.  So today, I got a 4MB card!!  :)

Feeling Like Poo.....

Before my breast reduction surgery my primary care physician did some blood work.  My cholesterol was 197.  It is slowly creeping up and I know why.  I have this thing about chicken.  It has to be cooked.  So, I have been having crispy chicken in my salads when we go to our favorite diner, which has been a lot this year.  So, my doctor started me on medicine for my cholesterol and the major side effect is feeling like you have the flu.  I started it five days ago, and I feel like I have been run over by a truck!!  I don't have a fever or anything.  My muscles in my legs hurt so bad that I had to take a pain pill last night.  My arms hurt, my feet hurt, my boobs hurt, everything hurts.  I called this morning and she said to stop it immediately.  I didn't take it this morning.  I am suppose to stop it for ten days.  If I get better, which I hope I do because I feel like crap, then it is the medicine.  If, I don't get better then I have the flu!!  It has to be the medicine.  I saw my hematologist (blood doctor) yesterday.  She monitors my anemia and my white blood count was not alleviated, but, I am still anemic, which I will always be from the chemotherapy.  So, that is the latest and greatest.  If, I am not around for the next few days, you know why!!  I sure hope I wake up feeling much better tomorrow. 

Who Is Dawn ?

So, who is Dawn?!?  I keep telling you I will tell you more about me, so here goes........

I am 47 years young.  :)  I have been married 3 times.  My first marriage, I can't remember when it was.  It was a real long time ago.  It only lasted for 7 months.  I was very sick with this auto-immune disease that I keep telling you about.  It is called Wegeners Granulomatosis.  Never heard of it have you?  Nobody has.  It is really rare.  Only 1 in 20,000 - 30,000  ore more people are diagnosed with it.  I was one of them.  The treatment for this disease is Prednisone (which is a steroid) and Methotrexate (which is chemotherapy).  So, back to the first marriage.  I gained a lot of weight with the Prednisone when I was first diagnosed.  I had a HUGE moon face.  But, I wasn't this way when we first met.  I was blonde hair, blue eye, thin and attractive (big boobs ~ lol).  What happened to the marriage....... he had an affair with a woman who worked for my dad !!  Yes, you read that right.  He worked for my dad and had an affair with his secretary.  He didn't like my appearance after what the medicine did to my body.  So, I filed for a divorce.  Once you have been cheated on, how could you trust that person again.  Never in my book !!!!!!!

During that time, I started loosing my hair and also was told that the chemotherapy (which was taken orally) had made me sterile.  I was not going to be able to have children.  I was the only daughter in my family.  This broke my heart.  I was not giving my mother and father grandchildren.  My mother was not going to be able to follow me through my pregnancy.  Give me advice, be there through the nine months with me, be there during the delivery.  I get teary eyed.  It happened for a reason, I am still trying to find out.

I lost my job because I was in and out of the hospital too much.  With the help of my Dad and close family friend, I went through arbitration and got my job back, because they didn't give me written notice.  My boss just called my parents and told them I was fired because the fact I was in the hospital too much.  I fought back and won.  During this time, my Uncle made it possible for me to live in my two bedroom apartment and pay the amount of rent I could afford.  Thank you, John !

I lived on my own for the next 5 years and dated off and on.  When you last expect anything, my best friend, Diana, and I went out for a few drinks and we knew of these guys, but really didn't know them.  Long story, they were nice and Bob asked me for my phone number.  The next weekend, Bob calls and ask me out.  Well, after 6 months of dating, he ask me to marry him.  He had been married before, he was 10 years older than I was and his first wife had died of breast cancer.  So, it wasn't our first marriage for either of us and we didn't have any children.  We got married in 1989.  In late 1999, things were just not right.  He had been a verbal abuser most of the marriage.  He and his family were having family business problems financially.  But, he wasn't coming home at night.  He started coming home later and later.  We lived about 30 - 40 minutes from the family business office.  Well, long story short.... remember my best friend, Diana (who was my maid of honor for all three of my marriages, including my marriage to Bob) ?!?!?!?!  Bob and Diana were having an affair !!!!!!!!!!!!!  She was MY BEST FRIEND !!!!!!  Yes, I was cheated on AGAIN !!  My auto immune disease was in remission and not active.  But, by this time, I was in full menopause and my hair on my head had fallen out and I was wearing a wig.  Was it my appearance again ?!?!?!  I will never know.  I was 35 when this happened.  They did get married!

I moved from Illinois to Missouri !!  My parents had retired and lived in Florida.  I was the only left in the college town.  My family was gone.  I wanted to live somewhere that I was wanted and loved.  I moved to Missouri where my brothers live.  I had family here.  I have SIL's, nieces and nephews.  I hated the metro-area and being by myself.  Bob and Diana were living their life and here I was in a metro-area that I didn't know anyone, but family.  I got a job, found an apartment and called it home !!!!  After a year and a half, I met my third husband and last husband, Roy !!  He is kind, gentle and warm.  We are both good for each other.  What one excels in the other doesn't.  We go hand in hand.  My family would agree.  Roy had been married before.  His wife had two kids from a prior marriage that didn't treat Roy very nice at all and his wife was looking for a sugar daddy.  They were married 11 months and she got everything, except the house he was living in.  He didn't have any kids either.  So, that makes the two of us !!  Just until March of this year, when we rescued Pedro !!  :)

Back to me and being auto immune.  I hate it !!  It is not fun.  I can't be around sick people.  I can get sick very easy.  I have to get the flu shot every year.  If I get the flu, it will put me in the hospital.  How was I diagnosed, I had developed a dry cough.  At the time, I was not a smoker.  So, after many... many blood tests for every possible test out there.  The doctors and specialists decided to do a chest x-ray.  Guess what ?!?!  Within, 10 minutes, I was scheduled for an open lung biopsy to be done the next day.  I had over 20 lesions on my lungs, both sides.  It could of been cancer, it could of been a number of things, or it could of been this really rare disease called Wegeners Granulomatosis. 

All is good these days.  I see a pulmonary specialist every six months that does sophisticated blood test that get sent off to Mayo Clinic.  During all of this time with being on the prednisone and going through early menopause, I was also diagnosed with being Bipolar.  All is good there now, too.  After loosing all of my weight that I gained since being married to Roy, from being on a medication that made me eat day and night,  (I told my doctor that I refused to take that medicine and to change it to something else!) I am off all my medication, except, a mood stabilizer. 

So, early menopause, was not fun.  Night sweats.......... whewwwwwwwww, I am glad I am done with that part of my life.  Mood swings... check.  Been through them.  The only thing that was positive that I can think of, I quit having periods !!  That part was so nice !!  I haven't had a period in forever.  I always get asked, when was your last period.  I just laugh.  I don't remember.  It has been over half of my life.

I have also mentioned my hair.  Yep, it is gone.  But, I in my pictures, you always see hair, right ?!?!?  :)  Wigs.com....., the Raquel Welch brand is what I like.  I am actually wearing a new one.  If you go to the site, it is called "Cinch".  I love it !!  :)  Nice thing about wigs, I just plop it on my head in the morning and go.  No, early morning showers, etc.  I shower at night, most nights, and get up in the morning, wash my face, brush my teeth, get dressed and put my hair on.  That simple.  No blow drying, no styling products, no flat irons, no nothing.  I do shampoo my head, though, in case if you were wondering.  *giggles* 

So, now, I just recently had a breast reduction !!  I am doing great.  Several plastic surgeons would recommend it or would do it for me.  Why, because of the chemotherapy that I take orally on Saturdays.  I am anemic and I don't heal very good.  But, I had Dr. T., that said he felt good about it, and that he would do it for me.  They gave me steroids during the surgery and antibiotics.  He also gave me antibiotics after the surgery.  I healed remarkably very well.  Now, I wonder why I didn't want this on FB or why I didn't tell my Mom or my aunt ??  My Mom was so against me having it done.  She and I argued over it repeatably while I was in Florida while she had her knee replaced.  My aunt didn't want me to have it done because she didn't want the auto immune disease to come back.  I have cousins on my FB, that would get back to my aunt and Mom.  I am never going to tell my Mom, unless she notices it.  She has to much to worry about.  It is just best they don't find out.  I am fine.  The surgery went well.  Everything is healed up.  Nothing went wrong.  So, she doesn't need to know, neither does my aunt. 

About my weight, I have always had weight issues.  But, I did weigh over 400 lbs., while Roy and I have been married do to medication.  While weighing over 400 lbs, I was a mess.  I had to walk with a walker, I couldn't dress myself, I needed help while I was in the shower, the list goes on and on.  I tried to get gastric bypass surgery and I was denied.  I thought my life was coming to an end.  I was denied because my primary care physician didn't follow me on a exercise program for a year.  Well, I couldn't move !!!!  I couldn't stand.  I could hardly wipe myself when I went to the bathroom.  I was more than morbidly obese !!  I had knee problems.  I was told I was going to have to have my knees replaced.  I tried every diet plan out there.  Well, I finally got hold of myself.  I started walking to the back door and back.  Then I started walking to the garage outside door and back, then to the mailbox and back.  But, this was a two year process.  It didn't happen over night.  I am now under 200 lbs.  I will get there.  October of this year, I will have keep the 200 lbs off for one year.  That is quite an accomplishment if I say so.  Would I like to loose more, you bet I would !!  Once, I am released from my doctor, which should be in a week and a half, I will be able to exercise.  I want to look the best I can.  I guess after having two failed marriages and then weighing over 400 lbs., I am kind of self conscious.  Now, I really am, since I had my breast reduction surgery !!  I might have to have more plastic surgery to get rid of the excess skin.  I have lost over 20 10 lb bag of potatoes.  That is a lot of potatoes !!  LOL

If I kept you attention this long, thanks for reading my story. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. 

I Am A Winner

Look what I won from Jenn !! 

I won the this giveaway that I blogged about, entered and tweeted today !!  To win this giveaway, I had to follow her blog, follow her on twitter, follow her face book blog, tweet about her giveaway and just entry.  It was that simple. 

Now, that these are on there way, I am going to have to walk extra!!!  Have you all noticed my new gadget ?!?!?!  The Distance Gadget ?!?!?!  I am going to be tracking my walking.  You can see that I haven't started yet.  But, with these cookies on the way, I will be starting tomorrow !!  This tracker will also be helpful for me with my Motivational Mondays, too !!  :)

What a way to end a fun evening.  We spent the evening with my husbands brother and wife. 

I Am A Versatile Blogger

Jeannette thinks I am a Versatile Blogger !!  To accept this award, I'm to list seven facts that you don't know about me !  Hmmmmmmm........

I am the oldest.
I have two younger brothers.
I always wished I had an older sister.
I hate to cook.
Pedro (dog) is my very first pet.  Besides fish.
I was not able to have kids.
Reason being is because I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease and the treatment is to take a chemotherapy pill every day at the time, and it put me into menopause, almost overnight.  Now, I just take it orally on Saturdays. 

There's seven !!  I will expand more about my auto immune disease in another post!

I am suppose to past this on to other bloggers.  So, I am not going to tag any of you.  But, if you do want to do it, let me know, and I will be by to visit to learn more about you !!!  :)








 

Breast Reduction 2nd Week Post Up

Things just keep getting better!  WOOT!!!!!!!  My nipple bolsters (covers) came off today!!  Everything is fine!!  The graphs took 100%!!!!  I am just doing the happy dance over here!!  I was a little concerned about this whole procedure because I am auto immune.  My body fights against itself when it heals.  I am, also, very anemic!! 

My next return appointment is in two weeks.  I will be released to be able to start exercising then.  I just can't wait !!  I am just bubbling with excitement.  I just can't tell you how happy I am.  No back problems, no neck and shoulder pain.  What else can a girl ask for who was a 52II who lost over 200 lbs then went down to a 40FF and now to a sports bra ?!?!?!  I am just thrilled, can you tell how happy, I am ?!?!??!  *giggles*

There Is A LOT Going On At The Design Girl - Check This ALL Out

Remember, the Design Girl is having a BIRTHDAY BASH with lots of free giveaways.  Here are some of them.

Don't forget these cute recycle bags from Bebeloosh.

Now, aren't they cute ?!?!?  You can enter the giveaway here.

On to the next one, yes, the next one....... It is Scratch & Sniff.

She sent in a picture of her darling chihuahua/min pin mix.  She recently moved to Chicago from LA.  So, she asked for them to make her this.  It is a chihuahua out of a map of Chicago.  How cool is that ?!?!?  Nifty, huh ?!?!?

 









To enter this for this giveaway, you can enter here.
How cute would that be of Pedro with a map of St. Louis ?!?!  Here is my stinking cute Pedro, in case you  forgot what he looked liked.  *giggles*

That is not the end, yet!!  There is more!!  This one is about Gussy!!  Have you seen her before?!?  Wow, neat stuff.

Now, what are you waiting for !!  To enter for this cool giveaway, go here.

WOW !!!!!!!!!!

Now, that is a whole bunch !!  If you haven't seen the Design Girl, go look.  She is going to be doing some custom design work for me coming up soon !!  :)

If you all remember me from back in my old blogging days, I never had a plain ole design !!  I always had someone do it for me !!  I have found someone new !!  :)