He Died

We left my house today at 12:00.  Cathy wanted to leave at 12:30, but I thought we should leave at noon.  Well, we got there at 12:40.  He died at 12:50.  Had we left at 12:30, we wouldn't of been there in time.

What an experience this has been for me.  I have never watched a person take their last breathe.  Today, I did.  He didn't gasp, or anything,  he just stopped breathing.   The preliminary arrangements are for the visitation to be Friday and the funeral on Saturday morning.  We live just across from the church.  I will be there for both.  What a sad, sad day.  You know my dad died almost two years ago.  It was very, very sudden.  He wasn't sick or anything, he had a massive heartache on the golf course.  No warning or anything.  No machines or anything.  No cancer or anything.  He didn't suffer like Cathy's dad.  Thank goodness !!

 

From Cathy's Son, Jason ~ More About Death and Dying

I just received this note from Jason, Cathy's son, on facebook.

Jus writting to say thank you for the trips to ****. Mom & I both really appreciate it and ya being with us. I know it can be a lenghty trip, long days and add up alot of milage & we'd be glad to chip in for gas, lunch or whatever else we can help with. If you or Roy ever need help with anything here at home let me know, I'll be glad to come give a hand. Im extra grateful especially for the rides to the Halloween Shops...its hard to find good quality stuff in ***** so again thanks a million.

I thought it was very nice !  He is 26 years old.  Doesn't drive because he is afraid to parallel  park.  I avoid parallel parking at all cost!!  He has his STD (sexually transmitted disease) report in his pictures on face book.  He also has Jesus as part of his name on face book.  Today, at the Halloween store, he bought red contact's for his eyes.  He said, that she gave him to bottles of them.  She didn't.  He stole them !!!!!

I just hope that Mr. Zahner goes quickly.  He just laid there and was non responsive.  When we arrived today, his temperature was 97.9 and when we left, it was 99.9.  His checks were bright red.  His lungs are starting to rattle and slowly starting to fill with fluid.  Cathy's brother was very appreciative that I did his laundry and that I brought Cathy and Jason down again today.  Tomorrow, I have an appointment with my surgeon, so, I would be going down anyway. 

This is COMPLETELY off subject !!  But, if you want to see before and after pictures of my breast reduction surgery, I have pictures !!  :)  I still have wholes under each boob, but they are starting to heal.  Leave me your email address, if I don't have it, and let me know if you want to see.  You have been with me through this adventure.  If you don't want to see, you will NOT offend me !!  :) 

More About Death and Dying

He is still alive, but I don't know for how much longer.  The hospice nurse will be back in Monday morning to access his condition if he is still alive.  His morphine doses have increased as well as the length between them.  Cathy said to her brother that she didn't think she wanted to come down tomorrow while she was looking at me.  I told her that it was not a problem for me to bring she and Jason down.  She has trouble seeing at night.  Remember, her 25 or 26 year old son doesn't drive.  Because, he says, he is afraid to parallel park.  But, he is a strange kid !!  Really odd !!  On his profile on FB, he has his STD report, that says he is free of the diseases.  Is that gross, or what ?!?!!?!

I called my mom when I got home, she said, why are you putting the miles on your car, why are you doing this for her.  I told her, Mom, come on, when Dad died, didn't people friends and neighbors pull together to help us.  What are neighbors for, right ?!?!   She said, are they paying you for gas??  I said, she is going to fill my tank up in the morning.  She said, don't let them take advantage of you!  I said, I won't.  I think a lot of my doing a lot with Cathy and taking her to her appointments and stuff with me to see my surgeon will all make sense when she see's me in November.  I am flying down to see her for a week.  She decided she can't make the trip up to St. Louis.  I think I told you this, lol.  If not, I am sorry!  I am going to see her.  My Mom said, that I am being to nice ?!?!?  How can you be to nice??   I am a kind, caring, loving individual.  Mom knows that !! 

I am doing Cathy's brothers laundry now.  He is staying at the Veteran's home day and and night until his dad dies. 

Death and Dying

My neighbor, Cathy, and I have been doing more together.  She has had a tough life and her only friends are me and our next door neighbor.  Two weeks ago, I was out walking Pedro on a Saturday and she walked over to me and said, "If I need to go to the emergency room overnight, will you take me"?  Without hesitation, I said, sure.  She told me that she had started her period and was bleeding heavily.  Her truck was in the shop and her son, who is 26, doesn't know how to drive.  We will save that story for another day.  So, the next morning, I saw her outside and asked her how she was doing.  She was still bleeding heavily.  I told her that she should be seen by a doctor.  She is over 60 and hasn't had a period in over 15 years.  She had gotten herself kicked out of our local clinic for missing to many appointments, so her doctor is in the same town that my plastic surgeon is in.  She made her appointment the same day that I go down to see my surgeon, on Tuesdays.  Her dad is in the Veteran's Home the exit before the exit we get off at.  I have always told her that if she wants to stop to see her dad, we could.  Just to back up a second, today, we had our home phone disconnected.  We now have broadband.  A long time coming, but we have a Verizon Air card and it seems to be working fine.  We had to move the computer upstairs, but all is fine.  So, tonight, I get a message on my iPhone, that I have received a message on Face Book from my neighbor.  It says it is Cathy and Jason and it is urgent.  The message reads exactly: 

My mom wanted to know your number...were in cape the grandfather is fixin to pass my cell# is got it w/ me.  I called him right away.  It was at 5:20.  Roy was just getting ready to leave for work and I left just before him.  I didn't know what I was getting into.  I know that she was going with me this Tuesday, because we were going shopping for clothes for when her dad died.  All I knew when I got to the Veteran's Home is that I was looking for the "C" wing, room 109.  I got in there.  There laid Cathy's dad in a single bed.  He is in a lot of pain.  I am not sure how old he is.  He is dying as I type this.  He has cancer through out his body.  It started in his prostrate and slowly moved throughout his body.  He can't swallow anymore as the cancer is really bad in his throat.  The morphine is administrated under is tongue every hour.  Every so often he moves and cries out.  His oncologist came in and told him goodbye.  There was nothing else that could be done.  Isn't this sad ?!?!  So, Cathy and I went shopping and I helped her pick out a pretty outfit to wear for the viewing and the funeral.  Cathy has bad eyesight at night and has cataracts in both eyes, but her son insisted that she drive her truck home tonight.  So, she followed me home on the highway and watched my taillights.  She asked if something happened in the middle of the night if she could call me and I told her yes.  Her dad's breathing was really good and I don't see him dying for a few days.  His oncologist said, that it could be an hour, 12 hours, 24 hours, a week, he just doesn't know.  The funeral arrangements are pre-made.  So, the family is just waiting for the last breathe to be made.  Cathy's dad please just hurry and take your last breathe, your wife is waiting for you to finally be with her.  Cathy's mom fell last year, broke her head open and bleed to death.  She died September of last year. 

I am having a rough time with this.  I haven't dealt with death and dying since my dad died, in February, 2009.  My dad had a major heart attack on the golf course.  He didn't suffer and he died doing something he enjoyed.  RIP dad, I love you and miss you so much !!

I have never been this close to someone dying.  A loved one, a dad, a grandfather, a great grandfather.  I don't know what war he was in.  I am sure that I will learn more as the days go on.  Sad.. sad... sad !!!!