Thursday, September 30, 2010

I Want Your Opinion

I went shopping last week for sports bras.  I got four, two white, one sassy lilac, and one gray (obsidian).  They come in a wide variety of colors.  I want to get two more and I would like you to pop over there and tell me the two colors you like.  Here is the link:  Barely There Sports Bra.  Please be specific in the colors!  :)  They were on sale yesterday, but I just checked and they aren't today.  So, I will wait to get them when they are on sale.  When I got them in the store, it was buy one, get the other 1/2 off.  So, please help me in which color you think I should get !!  :)  Thanks !

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Just A Minor Bump In The Road

I had an appointment with my surgeon yesterday.  The incision didn't break open.  But, I am having lack of blood supply to underneath of my boobs.  There is some infection, too, so he started me on antibiotics immediately.  I also change the gauze three times a day.  They are really oozing.  This is not want I wanted to hear.  He assured me that this will not effect the way my boobs will look or anything.  I got a couple of sports bra's and they are so neat.  I am going to start 'sporting' those today!  I really feel good about this little detour in the healing process.  My surgeon is on top of this, he took pictures and I go back next Tuesday! 

Saturday, September 25, 2010

My Incision Popped Open

I have been doing too much !!  Under my right boob, my incision popped open.  It is quite a mess.  I see my surgeon on Tuesday.  I wonder if I will be in trouble ?!?!?!  It will probably have to heal from the inside out now.  It will probably take forever to heal now.  I know, it is all my fault.  I have been lifting a lot in the last week.  I thought I was all in the clear.  I have been doing some fall cleaning.  Going through stuff.  I had a new cleaning lady start today.  I really like her.  Although, Pedro let her know that he lives here.  He barked the entire 3 1/2 hours.  She is coming back on Monday to finish!  

When will I learn ?!?!?!?!  I know I don't heal well, but I really thought I was in the clear.  All thing will get better.  I have the faith !!

Friday, September 24, 2010

I Had A Knock At My Door Today

and I opened the door and there stood the Sheriff!  Guess who he wanted to see ?!?!?!  Roy's ex-wife!!  She hasn't lived here in over 11 years !!  We get creditor collection calls every month or two for her.  I just simply say that she hasn't been at this number in over 11 years.  I ask them to take our number out of the machine and I never hear back.  We haven't received any of her mail probably in 10 years.  But, today, when I answered the front door, it was the Sheriff !!  He asked for Darlene M.  I said, that she and Roy had been divorced for over 11 years and I didn't know where she was.  He was very nice and left.  I texted Roy right away and told him.  He said, "I wonder what they want her for."  It was funny, Pedro let the Sheriff know that he lives here !!  LOL 

I did stop my cholesterol medicine and I am feeling all better !!  My nurse told me that I should stop it for a week and try it again.  I am not looking forward to re-starting it.

I did get a new camera, a Canon, 12.3 megapixel from Best Buy.  So, you will be seeing more pictures !!  I had to get a new memory card for it.  My old camera had a 256K memory card.  So today, I got a 4MB card!!  :)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Feeling Like Poo.....

Before my breast reduction surgery my primary care physician did some blood work.  My cholesterol was 197.  It is slowly creeping up and I know why.  I have this thing about chicken.  It has to be cooked.  So, I have been having crispy chicken in my salads when we go to our favorite diner, which has been a lot this year.  So, my doctor started me on medicine for my cholesterol and the major side effect is feeling like you have the flu.  I started it five days ago, and I feel like I have been run over by a truck!!  I don't have a fever or anything.  My muscles in my legs hurt so bad that I had to take a pain pill last night.  My arms hurt, my feet hurt, my boobs hurt, everything hurts.  I called this morning and she said to stop it immediately.  I didn't take it this morning.  I am suppose to stop it for ten days.  If I get better, which I hope I do because I feel like crap, then it is the medicine.  If, I don't get better then I have the flu!!  It has to be the medicine.  I saw my hematologist (blood doctor) yesterday.  She monitors my anemia and my white blood count was not alleviated, but, I am still anemic, which I will always be from the chemotherapy.  So, that is the latest and greatest.  If, I am not around for the next few days, you know why!!  I sure hope I wake up feeling much better tomorrow. 

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Who Is Dawn ?

So, who is Dawn?!?  I keep telling you I will tell you more about me, so here goes........

I am 47 years young.  :)  I have been married 3 times.  My first marriage, I can't remember when it was.  It was a real long time ago.  It only lasted for 7 months.  I was very sick with this auto-immune disease that I keep telling you about.  It is called Wegeners Granulomatosis.  Never heard of it have you?  Nobody has.  It is really rare.  Only 1 in 20,000 - 30,000  ore more people are diagnosed with it.  I was one of them.  The treatment for this disease is Prednisone (which is a steroid) and Methotrexate (which is chemotherapy).  So, back to the first marriage.  I gained a lot of weight with the Prednisone when I was first diagnosed.  I had a HUGE moon face.  But, I wasn't this way when we first met.  I was blonde hair, blue eye, thin and attractive (big boobs ~ lol).  What happened to the marriage....... he had an affair with a woman who worked for my dad !!  Yes, you read that right.  He worked for my dad and had an affair with his secretary.  He didn't like my appearance after what the medicine did to my body.  So, I filed for a divorce.  Once you have been cheated on, how could you trust that person again.  Never in my book !!!!!!!

During that time, I started loosing my hair and also was told that the chemotherapy (which was taken orally) had made me sterile.  I was not going to be able to have children.  I was the only daughter in my family.  This broke my heart.  I was not giving my mother and father grandchildren.  My mother was not going to be able to follow me through my pregnancy.  Give me advice, be there through the nine months with me, be there during the delivery.  I get teary eyed.  It happened for a reason, I am still trying to find out.

I lost my job because I was in and out of the hospital too much.  With the help of my Dad and close family friend, I went through arbitration and got my job back, because they didn't give me written notice.  My boss just called my parents and told them I was fired because the fact I was in the hospital too much.  I fought back and won.  During this time, my Uncle made it possible for me to live in my two bedroom apartment and pay the amount of rent I could afford.  Thank you, John !

I lived on my own for the next 5 years and dated off and on.  When you last expect anything, my best friend, Diana, and I went out for a few drinks and we knew of these guys, but really didn't know them.  Long story, they were nice and Bob asked me for my phone number.  The next weekend, Bob calls and ask me out.  Well, after 6 months of dating, he ask me to marry him.  He had been married before, he was 10 years older than I was and his first wife had died of breast cancer.  So, it wasn't our first marriage for either of us and we didn't have any children.  We got married in 1989.  In late 1999, things were just not right.  He had been a verbal abuser most of the marriage.  He and his family were having family business problems financially.  But, he wasn't coming home at night.  He started coming home later and later.  We lived about 30 - 40 minutes from the family business office.  Well, long story short.... remember my best friend, Diana (who was my maid of honor for all three of my marriages, including my marriage to Bob) ?!?!?!?!  Bob and Diana were having an affair !!!!!!!!!!!!!  She was MY BEST FRIEND !!!!!!  Yes, I was cheated on AGAIN !!  My auto immune disease was in remission and not active.  But, by this time, I was in full menopause and my hair on my head had fallen out and I was wearing a wig.  Was it my appearance again ?!?!?!  I will never know.  I was 35 when this happened.  They did get married!

I moved from Illinois to Missouri !!  My parents had retired and lived in Florida.  I was the only left in the college town.  My family was gone.  I wanted to live somewhere that I was wanted and loved.  I moved to Missouri where my brothers live.  I had family here.  I have SIL's, nieces and nephews.  I hated the metro-area and being by myself.  Bob and Diana were living their life and here I was in a metro-area that I didn't know anyone, but family.  I got a job, found an apartment and called it home !!!!  After a year and a half, I met my third husband and last husband, Roy !!  He is kind, gentle and warm.  We are both good for each other.  What one excels in the other doesn't.  We go hand in hand.  My family would agree.  Roy had been married before.  His wife had two kids from a prior marriage that didn't treat Roy very nice at all and his wife was looking for a sugar daddy.  They were married 11 months and she got everything, except the house he was living in.  He didn't have any kids either.  So, that makes the two of us !!  Just until March of this year, when we rescued Pedro !!  :)

Back to me and being auto immune.  I hate it !!  It is not fun.  I can't be around sick people.  I can get sick very easy.  I have to get the flu shot every year.  If I get the flu, it will put me in the hospital.  How was I diagnosed, I had developed a dry cough.  At the time, I was not a smoker.  So, after many... many blood tests for every possible test out there.  The doctors and specialists decided to do a chest x-ray.  Guess what ?!?!  Within, 10 minutes, I was scheduled for an open lung biopsy to be done the next day.  I had over 20 lesions on my lungs, both sides.  It could of been cancer, it could of been a number of things, or it could of been this really rare disease called Wegeners Granulomatosis

All is good these days.  I see a pulmonary specialist every six months that does sophisticated blood test that get sent off to Mayo Clinic.  During all of this time with being on the prednisone and going through early menopause, I was also diagnosed with being Bipolar.  All is good there now, too.  After loosing all of my weight that I gained since being married to Roy, from being on a medication that made me eat day and night,  (I told my doctor that I refused to take that medicine and to change it to something else!) I am off all my medication, except, a mood stabilizer. 

So, early menopause, was not fun.  Night sweats.......... whewwwwwwwww, I am glad I am done with that part of my life.  Mood swings... check.  Been through them.  The only thing that was positive that I can think of, I quit having periods !!  That part was so nice !!  I haven't had a period in forever.  I always get asked, when was your last period.  I just laugh.  I don't remember.  It has been over half of my life.

I have also mentioned my hair.  Yep, it is gone.  But, I in my pictures, you always see hair, right ?!?!?  :)  Wigs.com....., the Raquel Welch brand is what I like.  I am actually wearing a new one.  If you go to the site, it is called "Cinch".  I love it !!  :)  Nice thing about wigs, I just plop it on my head in the morning and go.  No, early morning showers, etc.  I shower at night, most nights, and get up in the morning, wash my face, brush my teeth, get dressed and put my hair on.  That simple.  No blow drying, no styling products, no flat irons, no nothing.  I do shampoo my head, though, in case if you were wondering.  *giggles* 

So, now, I just recently had a breast reduction !!  I am doing great.  Several plastic surgeons would recommend it or would do it for me.  Why, because of the chemotherapy that I take orally on Saturdays.  I am anemic and I don't heal very good.  But, I had Dr. T., that said he felt good about it, and that he would do it for me.  They gave me steroids during the surgery and antibiotics.  He also gave me antibiotics after the surgery.  I healed remarkably very well.  Now, I wonder why I didn't want this on FB or why I didn't tell my Mom or my aunt ??  My Mom was so against me having it done.  She and I argued over it repeatably while I was in Florida while she had her knee replaced.  My aunt didn't want me to have it done because she didn't want the auto immune disease to come back.  I have cousins on my FB, that would get back to my aunt and Mom.  I am never going to tell my Mom, unless she notices it.  She has to much to worry about.  It is just best they don't find out.  I am fine.  The surgery went well.  Everything is healed up.  Nothing went wrong.  So, she doesn't need to know, neither does my aunt. 

About my weight, I have always had weight issues.  But, I did weigh over 400 lbs., while Roy and I have been married do to medication.  While weighing over 400 lbs, I was a mess.  I had to walk with a walker, I couldn't dress myself, I needed help while I was in the shower, the list goes on and on.  I tried to get gastric bypass surgery and I was denied.  I thought my life was coming to an end.  I was denied because my primary care physician didn't follow me on a exercise program for a year.  Well, I couldn't move !!!!  I couldn't stand.  I could hardly wipe myself when I went to the bathroom.  I was more than morbidly obese !!  I had knee problems.  I was told I was going to have to have my knees replaced.  I tried every diet plan out there.  Well, I finally got hold of myself.  I started walking to the back door and back.  Then I started walking to the garage outside door and back, then to the mailbox and back.  But, this was a two year process.  It didn't happen over night.  I am now under 200 lbs.  I will get there.  October of this year, I will have keep the 200 lbs off for one year.  That is quite an accomplishment if I say so.  Would I like to loose more, you bet I would !!  Once, I am released from my doctor, which should be in a week and a half, I will be able to exercise.  I want to look the best I can.  I guess after having two failed marriages and then weighing over 400 lbs., I am kind of self conscious.  Now, I really am, since I had my breast reduction surgery !!  I might have to have more plastic surgery to get rid of the excess skin.  I have lost over 20 10 lb bag of potatoes.  That is a lot of potatoes !!  LOL

If I kept you attention this long, thanks for reading my story. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. 

Saturday, September 18, 2010

I Am A Winner

Look what I won from Jenn !! 

I won the this giveaway that I blogged about, entered and tweeted today !!  To win this giveaway, I had to follow her blog, follow her on twitter, follow her face book blog, tweet about her giveaway and just entry.  It was that simple. 

Now, that these are on there way, I am going to have to walk extra!!!  Have you all noticed my new gadget ?!?!?!  The Distance Gadget ?!?!?!  I am going to be tracking my walking.  You can see that I haven't started yet.  But, with these cookies on the way, I will be starting tomorrow !!  This tracker will also be helpful for me with my Motivational Mondays, too !!  :)

What a way to end a fun evening.  We spent the evening with my husbands brother and wife. 

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I Am A Versatile Blogger

Jeannette thinks I am a Versatile Blogger !!  To accept this award, I'm to list seven facts that you don't know about me !  Hmmmmmmm........

I am the oldest.
I have two younger brothers.
I always wished I had an older sister.
I hate to cook.
Pedro (dog) is my very first pet.  Besides fish.
I was not able to have kids.
Reason being is because I was diagnosed with an auto immune disease and the treatment is to take a chemotherapy pill every day at the time, and it put me into menopause, almost overnight.  Now, I just take it orally on Saturdays. 

There's seven !!  I will expand more about my auto immune disease in another post!

I am suppose to past this on to other bloggers.  So, I am not going to tag any of you.  But, if you do want to do it, let me know, and I will be by to visit to learn more about you !!!  :)








 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Breast Reduction 2nd Week Post Up

Things just keep getting better!  WOOT!!!!!!!  My nipple bolsters (covers) came off today!!  Everything is fine!!  The graphs took 100%!!!!  I am just doing the happy dance over here!!  I was a little concerned about this whole procedure because I am auto immune.  My body fights against itself when it heals.  I am, also, very anemic!! 

My next return appointment is in two weeks.  I will be released to be able to start exercising then.  I just can't wait !!  I am just bubbling with excitement.  I just can't tell you how happy I am.  No back problems, no neck and shoulder pain.  What else can a girl ask for who was a 52II who lost over 200 lbs then went down to a 40FF and now to a sports bra ?!?!?!  I am just thrilled, can you tell how happy, I am ?!?!??!  *giggles*

Monday, September 13, 2010

There Is A LOT Going On At The Design Girl - Check This ALL Out

Remember, the Design Girl is having a BIRTHDAY BASH with lots of free giveaways.  Here are some of them.

Don't forget these cute recycle bags from Bebeloosh.





















Now, aren't they cute ?!?!?  You can enter the giveaway here.

On to the next one, yes, the next one....... It is Scratch & Sniff.

She sent in a picture of her darling chihuahua/min pin mix.  She recently moved to Chicago from LA.  So, she asked for them to make her this.  It is a chihuahua out of a map of Chicago.  How cool is that ?!?!?  Nifty, huh ?!?!?



 









To enter this for this giveaway, you can enter here.
How cute would that be of Pedro with a map of St. Louis ?!?!  Here is my stinking cute Pedro, in case you  forgot what he looked liked.  *giggles*














That is not the end, yet!!  There is more!!  This one is about Gussy!!  Have you seen her before?!?  Wow, neat stuff.













Now, what are you waiting for !!  To enter for this cool giveaway, go here.

WOW !!!!!!!!!!

Now, that is a whole bunch !!  If you haven't seen the Design Girl, go look.  She is going to be doing some custom design work for me coming up soon !!  :)

If you all remember me from back in my old blogging days, I never had a plain ole design !!  I always had someone do it for me !!  I have found someone new !!  :)

Motivation Monday

Have you jumped on the bandwagon yet?  If not, let's get started!


Remember last week?!?  I started Motivation Monday with weight loss in mind.
I did start walking, well I started walking Pedro again, since my hubby has gone back to work.
I have also started to drink water.  Not 32 oz. yet.  But, one 12 oz glass a day!
Well, sitting at the computer, has gotten worse !!  Since I have NO more back problems, YEAH!!, I can sit here for hours... hours.. did I say.. HOURS and HOURS.. ok, I think you get the idea !!  :)  I am really going to have to start to do something about this !!  REALLY !!!!
Does anyone have ideas to help me here??  I really could use some help.  I could only sit for 20 minutes at a time.  Now, it is hours and hours at a time.  I do have a life... but, my friend is the computer!!

I have my second week post op appointment with my plastic surgeon.  I hope he takes this nipple bolsters, the thick padding, that is sewn to my nipples.  Everything really looks great !! 

If anyone has any ideas on how to limit my time on the computer, I am listening !! 

I got started with Motivation Mondays from A Hippo With A HeadBand.  Let me know if you join in !!

Have a great week!!  :)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Another Birthday Bash Giveaway From The Design Girl

Oh my gosh!  The Design Girl is having another giveaway.  It is her birthday week with lots of birthday giveaways.  You don't want to miss any of them !!

This time it is for a BebelooshMini.  Do you know what that is?!?!?  They are reusable bags for snacks and sandwiches.  Here is what they look like.  Cute, aren't they ?!?!


To enter go here.  You will not be disappointed!!  I just love the Design Girl !!  :)

Friday, September 10, 2010

There is ANOTHER Giveway

This time it is from The Design Girl.  It is her birthday week and she has lots of things she is giving away this week.  For starters, one of her lucky readers is getting a Lisa Leonard $50 credit towards a purchase.  How cool is that ?!?!?!  Here is how to enter.  You can't win if you don't enter !! 

Good Luck !!  :)

End of Roy's Vacation

It has gone by quick!  Roy goes back to work tonight.  I am going to miss him!  He has been a big help to me and for me while I have been recuperating.  But, all is good ! 

I am still doing great!  Everything looks great as far as my boobs!  I have been doing more and more and I get tired very quickly.  I am really surprised!  But, it hasn't been two weeks yet.  No pain or anything !  Isn't that great ?!?!?  I am so pleased. 

Nothing but raining here!  I think it is going to stop by Saturday.  I sure hope so, because I am back to walking Pedro!  Speak of him, he is doing great.  He still wonders what is wrong with me.  He occasionally will come and sit by me.  He will sniff me and then jump down.  He is our first dog and they can really sense when something is wrong!  Speaking of the rain, I have to take him out !  Oh, great !!  LOL 

I have gotten addicted to Family Feud on Face Book.  Now, that I can sit and the computer for hours on end and it doesn't bother my back, I love that game !  I won't tell you how many questionnaire's I have filled out, how many auto quotes I have filled out, etc., to get free games.  LOL 

Life is GREAT !!!!!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

One Week Post Op Check Up

WOW !!!!!  I got my drains out today !  I am so excited !!  Dr. T. is very pleased with his work, of course, I am, too !!  I still have the cotton padding (bolsters) sewn onto my nipples.  They come off next week.  Reason being is because, my nipples are a skin graph and he doesn't want my compression bra rubbing against them or anything at this time. 

I asked his assistant, Denise, who took the drains out and everything, about a bra.  She said probably next time you can go get a sports bra.  I said, "WHAT" ?!?!?  She said, "Yes, a sports bra is all you will need".  I said, "What about a BRA"?  She said, "If you want to get fitted for one, you can"!  I have always worn a bra.  Decisions.. decisions... *giggles*

Monday, September 6, 2010

There Is A Giveway

My friend Jenn is hosting a contest.  You can go here to enter.  It is for FREE sugar cookies.  They look really good.  It is not hard to enter.  Just hop over and enter !!  She has all the details about the contest!

I entered.  I hope you do to !!

Motivation Monday

I am jumping on the bandwagon!



Welcome to Motivation Monday!  I am late with it !!

I want to loose 30 pounds and I have fallen off my routine.  I don't drink the water I used, too.  I know for a fact, this past weekend, I have sat way toooo long at the computer.  Guess what ?!?!?  I have no pain in my back, neck or shoulders!!!  The most I could sit for was 20 to 30 minutes and that was it. 

I don't know when I can start exercising again.  I see my surgeon tomorrow.  But, I'm sure once my drains are out and stitches around my nipples, I can return to regular activities.  I can tell a HUGE difference when I do excercise.  Just walking is all you really need to do.  But, I like going to the gym.  Where I go, it isn't very expensive.  I can do the machines and feel so much better! 

I am going to start eating better meals.  I have been eating comfort foods.  I can tell that it has really bloated me and I really feel awful.  Sleepy, etc. 

1.  Drink more water!  I can drink a 32 ounce Coke Zero.  I can drink that much water!
2.  If I can, start back slowly into exercising.  I am under restrictions right now. 
3.  Not sit as long at the computer, before I get into a bad habit !!

This is where I got started with A Hippo With A HeadBand

Have a great week !!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Mary Kay

I use Mary Kay products for personal use.  I love Mary Kay products.  I would eat them !!  Anyway, I became a consultant in March, because I wanted something to do.  Well, when I signed up under my director, she was my consultant at the time, she told me that I needed inventory.  I only bought what I was using at the time.  She came over to my house and placed a HUGE order for me.  I have sold stuff to friends and haven't made a dime.  But, anyway, I am wanting to move what I have and am willing to put in an order for anything you might want.  You can go to:  Mary Kay and look around to see if there is anything you would like.  Remember, Christmas is coming around the corner. 

There is a really nice brush set that I think every woman should have.  It is the Mary Kay Brush Collection.  It says on the website it is $48.00.  I am selling everything at 50% off to you.  My cost!  So, if you are interested in the brush collection it is $24.00.  It is really nice!  I wouldn't lead you astray.  :)

If you are interested in anything, let me know.  You can send me a message on Face Book, or leave me a comment with your email address!

Have fun !

Friday, September 3, 2010

I Saw My New Boobs

Yesterday afternoon I took my shower like the papers said to do.  I was a little scared and nervous, because I didn't know what to expect.  I stood in the shower with my back to the water.  I slowly rotated to the front as the tape and gauze slowly came off.  I have steri-strips along the bottom of each breast.  There is a thick circle of a bandage that is stitched to each nipple.  Then, of course, the drains.  They are going to be the death of me yet !! 

The drains don't hurt.  They are just there.  They kind of pull on each side.  They get emptied every 4 hours.   There is a chart that we fill out.  It is for each breast and how many cc's we get out of each drain.  I don't have to get up and drain them in the middle of the night. 

The pain is very tolerable.  I only seem to be taking a pain pill in the evening and bed time.  I am feel really good so far and there is NO sign of infection, yet !!  I am still on antibiotics. 

I wish I would of done this many years ago.... but I am so happy I have had this done !!  :)  I really wish I was one month post op.  But, I will get there!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Home Recouperating

Wow !!  The surgery took 2 1/2 hours.  I woke up in the operating room while they were putting my bra on.  Boy, my boobs are little !!  LOL  The only pain I am in, is some burning on my chest.  They warned me about it before surgery.  I was so miserable when I came out of surgery, that they gave me morphine.  Nothing happened.... then they gave me oral percocet... and that helped !! 

I do have two drain tubes under each boob.  What a pain in the butt.  I see my surgeon next Tuesday.  Depending how much is coming out, will determine if he will take them out.  I sure hope so! 

The surgeon started right on time.  I was surprised.  Oh, I know this is tooo much information, but Roy asked just how much did the tissue weighed that they took out.  They had it.  EWWWWWWWWWWWWW  In a red bag.. of course, but they have to send it to the lab and then send it to the insurance company.  At least, I don't have to see it.

He said I could shower tonight.  I am not sure about that..... Probably tomorrow morning. 

I am seeing double right now..... I think my couch is calling my name !!  Thanks for all your well wishes.  Remember, nothing on FB !!!!!!!!

The Morning of My Surgery

I slept for two hours!  Butterflies, yes!  Nervous, yes !!  Anxiety, yes!!  The time is flying until we leave. 

I thought September, 1st would never get here.... well, it is here and I am scared to death !  I have taken my medication that I was suppose to this morning.  I am thirsty, but was afraid to drink much. 

Roy will be waiting for me while I am in surgery.  I wish he had somebody to sit with him.  Three hours is a long time.

My earrings are out.  I have my ears doubled pierced and I never take out my second set of earrings out.  I forget about them.  Teeth brushed and faced washed.  Just waiting to leave. 

After I took my shower last night, I went into the bedroom by myself, layed on the bed..... I layed there, with my boobs falling over onto my upper arms.  There I layed seeing my flat chest.  Just wondering what I will look like today.  Thinking how I will feel, thinking what I will look like, wondering what Roy will think.  I know he will like my boobs smaller.  They are just so dang HUGE !!!!!!!!

Okay... I need to get a couple of things done before I leave.

Pray for me, please !!  :)