Sunday, September 19, 2010

Who Is Dawn ?

So, who is Dawn?!?  I keep telling you I will tell you more about me, so here goes........

I am 47 years young.  :)  I have been married 3 times.  My first marriage, I can't remember when it was.  It was a real long time ago.  It only lasted for 7 months.  I was very sick with this auto-immune disease that I keep telling you about.  It is called Wegeners Granulomatosis.  Never heard of it have you?  Nobody has.  It is really rare.  Only 1 in 20,000 - 30,000  ore more people are diagnosed with it.  I was one of them.  The treatment for this disease is Prednisone (which is a steroid) and Methotrexate (which is chemotherapy).  So, back to the first marriage.  I gained a lot of weight with the Prednisone when I was first diagnosed.  I had a HUGE moon face.  But, I wasn't this way when we first met.  I was blonde hair, blue eye, thin and attractive (big boobs ~ lol).  What happened to the marriage....... he had an affair with a woman who worked for my dad !!  Yes, you read that right.  He worked for my dad and had an affair with his secretary.  He didn't like my appearance after what the medicine did to my body.  So, I filed for a divorce.  Once you have been cheated on, how could you trust that person again.  Never in my book !!!!!!!

During that time, I started loosing my hair and also was told that the chemotherapy (which was taken orally) had made me sterile.  I was not going to be able to have children.  I was the only daughter in my family.  This broke my heart.  I was not giving my mother and father grandchildren.  My mother was not going to be able to follow me through my pregnancy.  Give me advice, be there through the nine months with me, be there during the delivery.  I get teary eyed.  It happened for a reason, I am still trying to find out.

I lost my job because I was in and out of the hospital too much.  With the help of my Dad and close family friend, I went through arbitration and got my job back, because they didn't give me written notice.  My boss just called my parents and told them I was fired because the fact I was in the hospital too much.  I fought back and won.  During this time, my Uncle made it possible for me to live in my two bedroom apartment and pay the amount of rent I could afford.  Thank you, John !

I lived on my own for the next 5 years and dated off and on.  When you last expect anything, my best friend, Diana, and I went out for a few drinks and we knew of these guys, but really didn't know them.  Long story, they were nice and Bob asked me for my phone number.  The next weekend, Bob calls and ask me out.  Well, after 6 months of dating, he ask me to marry him.  He had been married before, he was 10 years older than I was and his first wife had died of breast cancer.  So, it wasn't our first marriage for either of us and we didn't have any children.  We got married in 1989.  In late 1999, things were just not right.  He had been a verbal abuser most of the marriage.  He and his family were having family business problems financially.  But, he wasn't coming home at night.  He started coming home later and later.  We lived about 30 - 40 minutes from the family business office.  Well, long story short.... remember my best friend, Diana (who was my maid of honor for all three of my marriages, including my marriage to Bob) ?!?!?!?!  Bob and Diana were having an affair !!!!!!!!!!!!!  She was MY BEST FRIEND !!!!!!  Yes, I was cheated on AGAIN !!  My auto immune disease was in remission and not active.  But, by this time, I was in full menopause and my hair on my head had fallen out and I was wearing a wig.  Was it my appearance again ?!?!?!  I will never know.  I was 35 when this happened.  They did get married!

I moved from Illinois to Missouri !!  My parents had retired and lived in Florida.  I was the only left in the college town.  My family was gone.  I wanted to live somewhere that I was wanted and loved.  I moved to Missouri where my brothers live.  I had family here.  I have SIL's, nieces and nephews.  I hated the metro-area and being by myself.  Bob and Diana were living their life and here I was in a metro-area that I didn't know anyone, but family.  I got a job, found an apartment and called it home !!!!  After a year and a half, I met my third husband and last husband, Roy !!  He is kind, gentle and warm.  We are both good for each other.  What one excels in the other doesn't.  We go hand in hand.  My family would agree.  Roy had been married before.  His wife had two kids from a prior marriage that didn't treat Roy very nice at all and his wife was looking for a sugar daddy.  They were married 11 months and she got everything, except the house he was living in.  He didn't have any kids either.  So, that makes the two of us !!  Just until March of this year, when we rescued Pedro !!  :)

Back to me and being auto immune.  I hate it !!  It is not fun.  I can't be around sick people.  I can get sick very easy.  I have to get the flu shot every year.  If I get the flu, it will put me in the hospital.  How was I diagnosed, I had developed a dry cough.  At the time, I was not a smoker.  So, after many... many blood tests for every possible test out there.  The doctors and specialists decided to do a chest x-ray.  Guess what ?!?!  Within, 10 minutes, I was scheduled for an open lung biopsy to be done the next day.  I had over 20 lesions on my lungs, both sides.  It could of been cancer, it could of been a number of things, or it could of been this really rare disease called Wegeners Granulomatosis

All is good these days.  I see a pulmonary specialist every six months that does sophisticated blood test that get sent off to Mayo Clinic.  During all of this time with being on the prednisone and going through early menopause, I was also diagnosed with being Bipolar.  All is good there now, too.  After loosing all of my weight that I gained since being married to Roy, from being on a medication that made me eat day and night,  (I told my doctor that I refused to take that medicine and to change it to something else!) I am off all my medication, except, a mood stabilizer. 

So, early menopause, was not fun.  Night sweats.......... whewwwwwwwww, I am glad I am done with that part of my life.  Mood swings... check.  Been through them.  The only thing that was positive that I can think of, I quit having periods !!  That part was so nice !!  I haven't had a period in forever.  I always get asked, when was your last period.  I just laugh.  I don't remember.  It has been over half of my life.

I have also mentioned my hair.  Yep, it is gone.  But, I in my pictures, you always see hair, right ?!?!?  :), the Raquel Welch brand is what I like.  I am actually wearing a new one.  If you go to the site, it is called "Cinch".  I love it !!  :)  Nice thing about wigs, I just plop it on my head in the morning and go.  No, early morning showers, etc.  I shower at night, most nights, and get up in the morning, wash my face, brush my teeth, get dressed and put my hair on.  That simple.  No blow drying, no styling products, no flat irons, no nothing.  I do shampoo my head, though, in case if you were wondering.  *giggles* 

So, now, I just recently had a breast reduction !!  I am doing great.  Several plastic surgeons would recommend it or would do it for me.  Why, because of the chemotherapy that I take orally on Saturdays.  I am anemic and I don't heal very good.  But, I had Dr. T., that said he felt good about it, and that he would do it for me.  They gave me steroids during the surgery and antibiotics.  He also gave me antibiotics after the surgery.  I healed remarkably very well.  Now, I wonder why I didn't want this on FB or why I didn't tell my Mom or my aunt ??  My Mom was so against me having it done.  She and I argued over it repeatably while I was in Florida while she had her knee replaced.  My aunt didn't want me to have it done because she didn't want the auto immune disease to come back.  I have cousins on my FB, that would get back to my aunt and Mom.  I am never going to tell my Mom, unless she notices it.  She has to much to worry about.  It is just best they don't find out.  I am fine.  The surgery went well.  Everything is healed up.  Nothing went wrong.  So, she doesn't need to know, neither does my aunt. 

About my weight, I have always had weight issues.  But, I did weigh over 400 lbs., while Roy and I have been married do to medication.  While weighing over 400 lbs, I was a mess.  I had to walk with a walker, I couldn't dress myself, I needed help while I was in the shower, the list goes on and on.  I tried to get gastric bypass surgery and I was denied.  I thought my life was coming to an end.  I was denied because my primary care physician didn't follow me on a exercise program for a year.  Well, I couldn't move !!!!  I couldn't stand.  I could hardly wipe myself when I went to the bathroom.  I was more than morbidly obese !!  I had knee problems.  I was told I was going to have to have my knees replaced.  I tried every diet plan out there.  Well, I finally got hold of myself.  I started walking to the back door and back.  Then I started walking to the garage outside door and back, then to the mailbox and back.  But, this was a two year process.  It didn't happen over night.  I am now under 200 lbs.  I will get there.  October of this year, I will have keep the 200 lbs off for one year.  That is quite an accomplishment if I say so.  Would I like to loose more, you bet I would !!  Once, I am released from my doctor, which should be in a week and a half, I will be able to exercise.  I want to look the best I can.  I guess after having two failed marriages and then weighing over 400 lbs., I am kind of self conscious.  Now, I really am, since I had my breast reduction surgery !!  I might have to have more plastic surgery to get rid of the excess skin.  I have lost over 20 10 lb bag of potatoes.  That is a lot of potatoes !!  LOL

If I kept you attention this long, thanks for reading my story. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. 


  1. You had my attention from the first word to the last! What a ride you have been on, and I think that you are in the best shape, emotionally, and physically, for the first time in your life because YOU wanted it! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU,D!!!! Love you, Janeo

  2. Jane ~ Yes, I have wanted it and got it, finally! I have the WHOLE package deal finally in my life! Love you, too !! :)

  3. comment never posted! Anyway. I wrote this a few days ago, but thank you for sharing with us. I found out so much more about you :) You have accomplished so much :)

  4. Lauren ~ I have accomplished a lot, haven't I ?!?!? :) Thanks for reading my story !!

  5. You certainly have accomplished what most people could never do. I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.


  6. Ahhhh.....((((HUG)))) Dawn is someone I love Very much....

  7. Thanks, Cas !! :)

    Donna ~ I love you, too !!