Saturday, October 9, 2010

Death and Dying

My neighbor, Cathy, and I have been doing more together.  She has had a tough life and her only friends are me and our next door neighbor.  Two weeks ago, I was out walking Pedro on a Saturday and she walked over to me and said, "If I need to go to the emergency room overnight, will you take me"?  Without hesitation, I said, sure.  She told me that she had started her period and was bleeding heavily.  Her truck was in the shop and her son, who is 26, doesn't know how to drive.  We will save that story for another day.  So, the next morning, I saw her outside and asked her how she was doing.  She was still bleeding heavily.  I told her that she should be seen by a doctor.  She is over 60 and hasn't had a period in over 15 years.  She had gotten herself kicked out of our local clinic for missing to many appointments, so her doctor is in the same town that my plastic surgeon is in.  She made her appointment the same day that I go down to see my surgeon, on Tuesdays.  Her dad is in the Veteran's Home the exit before the exit we get off at.  I have always told her that if she wants to stop to see her dad, we could.  Just to back up a second, today, we had our home phone disconnected.  We now have broadband.  A long time coming, but we have a Verizon Air card and it seems to be working fine.  We had to move the computer upstairs, but all is fine.  So, tonight, I get a message on my iPhone, that I have received a message on Face Book from my neighbor.  It says it is Cathy and Jason and it is urgent.  The message reads exactly: 
My mom wanted to know your number...were in cape the grandfather is fixin to pass my cell# is got it w/ me.  I called him right away.  It was at 5:20.  Roy was just getting ready to leave for work and I left just before him.  I didn't know what I was getting into.  I know that she was going with me this Tuesday, because we were going shopping for clothes for when her dad died.  All I knew when I got to the Veteran's Home is that I was looking for the "C" wing, room 109.  I got in there.  There laid Cathy's dad in a single bed.  He is in a lot of pain.  I am not sure how old he is.  He is dying as I type this.  He has cancer through out his body.  It started in his prostrate and slowly moved throughout his body.  He can't swallow anymore as the cancer is really bad in his throat.  The morphine is administrated under is tongue every hour.  Every so often he moves and cries out.  His oncologist came in and told him goodbye.  There was nothing else that could be done.  Isn't this sad ?!?!  So, Cathy and I went shopping and I helped her pick out a pretty outfit to wear for the viewing and the funeral.  Cathy has bad eyesight at night and has cataracts in both eyes, but her son insisted that she drive her truck home tonight.  So, she followed me home on the highway and watched my taillights.  She asked if something happened in the middle of the night if she could call me and I told her yes.  Her dad's breathing was really good and I don't see him dying for a few days.  His oncologist said, that it could be an hour, 12 hours, 24 hours, a week, he just doesn't know.  The funeral arrangements are pre-made.  So, the family is just waiting for the last breathe to be made.  Cathy's dad please just hurry and take your last breathe, your wife is waiting for you to finally be with her.  Cathy's mom fell last year, broke her head open and bleed to death.  She died September of last year. 
I am having a rough time with this.  I haven't dealt with death and dying since my dad died, in February, 2009.  My dad had a major heart attack on the golf course.  He didn't suffer and he died doing something he enjoyed.  RIP dad, I love you and miss you so much !!
I have never been this close to someone dying.  A loved one, a dad, a grandfather, a great grandfather.  I don't know what war he was in.  I am sure that I will learn more as the days go on.  Sad.. sad... sad !!!!


  1. I am so sorry you and your friend have to go through this hun. You are such a loving woman. I hope he finds rest soon. I'll be praying for all of you.

  2. That is terrible. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend. Your a great person and friend for being there for her.

  3. Oh Lordy Sweetie! The more we reach out, the more apples end up in our baskets...just goes with friendship.
    Bless your sweet heart AND Cathy & Father...I'll be praying!!

  4. Jeannette, Lauren and Donna ~ Thanks for your prayers. It is so so sad !!